tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17701083617386957132024-02-19T04:36:11.193-08:0012 hours to bedtimeOne stay-at-home mum. Four kids. Counting down the hours to bedtime (or at least until dad gets home).Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.comBlogger376125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-23383358175293474882015-01-15T19:22:00.000-08:002015-01-27T00:46:35.973-08:00Goodbye Canada It's Thursday evening. 7 o'clock. It's normally the time we'd be thinking about baths and bedtime stories for the little ones. Instead we are hanging around the lavish, spacious lobby of the Western Bay Shore Hotel in downtown Vancouver. We've finally procured the oversized, comfy armchairs by the fireplace. The chairs we've been eyeing up for the past few days, but have never managed to obtain because there's always been a grey-haired business man, frequently guffawing loudly into his cell phone, occupying them. Coats are strewn across one or two of the chairs. Suitcases are propped up against the others. The flames in the fireplace flicker and dance. Yellow. Orange. Yellow. It's raining outside. Hard. Hard enough that we can hear the raindrops pounding against the windows. And the nighttime sky is pitch black. On an ordinary night the flickering flames would lift our spirits, warm our hearts. But not tonight.<br />
<br />
Tonight is our last night in Vancouver.<br />
<br />
We've spent the past ten days saying goodbye to everyone and everything we've known for the past six and a half years. There have been goodbye parties in our old house, before the packers came in and packed away any evidence that we had ever lived, laughed and loved in that space. There have been goodbye parties at school. Complete with Australian themed cupcakes and chances for schoolmates to compose goodbye messages in the girls' scrapbooks. There have been last minute play dates. One last chance to hang out with friends. And last suppers with families we've known for years, families whose children have grown up alongside ours.<br />
<br />
With every party, every play date, every dinner party my heart has sunk lower and lower. The day of our departure has been edging closer and closer. And there has been nothing I could do to stop it. I have felt like a prisoner on death row, praying for a stay of execution, a miracle that would mean we didn't have to leave our comfortable Canadian lives behind. But the heaviness in my heart is a constant reminder of the truth: we are leaving Vancouver and our Canadian lives behind. Forever.<br />
<br />
Sitting by the fireplace, we contemplate our last few moments here in this city that has been our home. We've said a heartbreaking goodbye to Grandma and Grandpa, who came out from Toronto to help us out for the past few days. We've just said a teary goodbye to Lucy and her daughter, the first friends we ever made in Vancouver, the last ones to see us go. And now it's just us. Our family. Sitting in the cold, impersonal lobby of a massive, tourist hotel.<br />
<br />
I've never felt so completely dejected, so utterly defeated, so desperately alone, in my adult life as I do right now. It's dark. It's cold. It's raining. And it feels like our life in Vancouver can be summed up in this single moment. We arrived alone six and a half years ago. And we will leave alone.<br />
<br />
I don't want to be alone. I want to be surrounded by old friends who have known me since I was young and naive. I want to be close to family who have known me since I was knee high.<br />
<br />
I don't want to start over again. I don't want to put my children through this move. I don't want to tear them away from what they know. I don't want them to feel the pain of saying goodbye.<br />
<br />
We climb into the limo. Amy is sobbing inconsolably. Carly is staring sadly out of the window. Lola snuggles into me, and the tears stream down her face. Cliff glances at me, grim-faced and determined. Only Lance is unperturbed, amusing himself with the tiny sink inside the limo.<br />
<br />
Watching my family, my heart breaks. I can feel Amy's sorrow. It reminds me of a time, a time I try never to revisit: my mum's funeral. Sitting in the front of the church, my Nanna's arm wrapped tightly around me, staring at my mum's coffin, knowing my mum was inside it, knowing I'd never be this close to her again, knowing that there was absolutely nothing I could do, but accept that my mum was dead. Amy's sobs conjure up those old, deeply buried feelings of heartbreak, and that helplessness. I remember what it feels like to be so utterly resistant to what lies ahead, but having no choice other than to keep moving forward.<br />
<br />
The whole time we have gone through this move, telling the kids, telling our friends, packing up our house, during all the goodbye parties and last suppers and final playdates, I did not cry. I held myself together, tears firmly in check, willing myself to believe that this wasn't goodbye per se, just a see you soon. But in that limo ride to the airport, as I followed the raindrops rolling down the windows, listening to my oldest daughter sob with inconsolable grief, felt my youngest daughter shudder against me as she wept goodbye, something inside me cracked. I bent my head down, rested it against Lola's and felt the tears roll silently down my cheeks.<br />
<br />
<br />Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-5691915643766073662015-01-08T21:47:00.000-08:002015-01-08T21:47:35.401-08:00Christmas Eve traditions<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Nothing says Christmas Eve in our house
quite like a new pair of pyjamas. Every Christmas Eve, as the sun starts to set
or more likely (in Vancouver) the grey rain clouds blacken into the night sky,
the kids start to circle the Christmas tree seeking the soft, squishy Christmas
presents from mum and dad. The pressies are opened to squeals of delight (even
though everyone already knows what's inside): Christmas pyjamas, of course! The
ultimate accessory to the Clay’s Christmas Eve tradition: the pyjama drive. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Nothing quite heralds the arrival of
Christmas Eve like a drive round the neighbourhood, having a nosy at everyone
else’s Christmas lights from the comfort of your car seat, while wearing your
brand new, never-before-worn Christmas pyjamas. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Cliff refuses outright to drive around
Vancouver in his pyjamas. His rationale being that if something were to happen
like, for example, the car breaks down, at least one of us needs to be dressed
like a normal person while we go looking for help as opposed to someone who has
just escaped from the loony bin. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Cliff’s refusal to participate in our
frivolities (other than to chaffeur his crazy family round) meant that this
year there was no soft, squishy Christmas package under the tree for dad. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Mum’s willingness to drive around, and
on a couple of occasions even get out of the car in her pink dressing gown,
meant that her family unanimously voted on presenting her with her very own
special Christmas Eve gift this year: a onesie. What better way to say I love
you to a family member than to present them with a pink and black, cheetah
print oversized baby-gro. Perfect for touring around the neighbourhood in! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">And what better way for a mum to call
her family's bluff than by putting on the cheetah onesie and shouting as she
parades proudly down the stairs, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Right,
I'm ready. Who else is ready to go?”</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">There was a stunned kind of silence,
open mouthed looks of disbelief and thought bubbles practically screaming “Oh
My God” over my daughters’ heads when they saw the spectacle that was their
mother heading towards the car wearing a onesie. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Cliff placed a reassuring hand on my
forearm as I was pulling a wedgie out of my bum (the onesie they had procured
was a size too small), <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“You don't have to
do this, you know.”</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">He thought he was being subtle but I saw
the desperation in his eyes. The true meaning behind his plea: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Please don't do this. For the sake of all of
us. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">And so I nobly swapped the onesie for a
pair of red checked fleecy pyjama bottoms before heading out to the car. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The whole family breathed a sigh of
relief. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Mine was the loudest. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">This year our drive around the
neighbourhood took us up to Trinity Street where a stretch of houses spanning
four or five blocks compete for the best Christmas lights. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">After that we headed to McDonalds for
our traditional Christmas Eve dinner then back home to begin work on Santa’s
treats. This year we created these rather spectacular Santa and his reindeer
using Timbits, Pocky Sticks, edible eyes and dabs of frosting. Pretty good, eh?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglXz_r5biqJ1k6Mlasv6AJVWOTw2NDdkjz_MvVmLJZ93qzegN3L0c6ew3twHya3fbN-1b-r_TNRaVTw3L38Y1J5UWOSUNIHKmL9d4COGEpHQdbhPMpiKv1e2K1_sKGFd2flimStoHu-ijZ/s1600/santa's-treats.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglXz_r5biqJ1k6Mlasv6AJVWOTw2NDdkjz_MvVmLJZ93qzegN3L0c6ew3twHya3fbN-1b-r_TNRaVTw3L38Y1J5UWOSUNIHKmL9d4COGEpHQdbhPMpiKv1e2K1_sKGFd2flimStoHu-ijZ/s1600/santa's-treats.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">All that remained, once the notes to
Santa were written, and the beer, treats and carrots for the reindeers were
artfully arranged on the kitchen table was for us to settle down to a great
family movie. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We opted for The Guardians of the
Galaxy. Carly had already seen it at a recent birthday party, and Cliff and Amy
were desperate not to miss out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The movie hadn’t been on for long when I
got the distinct and uneasy impression that this movie might be intended for an
older audience than our girls. It was the language that did it. Although Cliff
and I didn’t need to worry; we had an English expert on hand, a 10 year old
girl was only too happy to translate for us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">So while I was glaring over at Cliff
hissing, “This movie cannot be PG. This language is not PG. He just called her
a bitch!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Amy calmly informed us, “It’s just
another word for a female dog, mum!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">And as I frantically Googled the film
ratings for Guardians of the Galaxy convinced that based on its language content
it had to be PG-13, glowering at Cliff, “He just called him a dick. How can
that be PG?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Carly looked up, and said, “I don’t get
it. What’s a dick?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">To which Amy responded, as quick as a
flash, “It’s just the shortened version of the name, Richard.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I still do not know, to this day,
whether Amy said this in all seriousness or whether she was experimenting with
sarcasm, but either way, her response was a welcome relief. I was relieved of
my motherly duties of trying to define a ‘dick’ to my 8 year old daughter, as
the conversation took a huge detour while we discussed one of the puzzles of
the linguistic world: why do people shorten the name John to Jack, when they
both consist of four letters and both begin with the letter J? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The mind boggles…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Not only because of the John/Jack
conundrum but also because I have somehow managed to turn a blog post about
pyjamas and our Christmas Eve traditions into a movie review and name analysis
as well! Wow! I think that’s my cue to stop typing and go to bed!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-42239829026402550562015-01-07T22:09:00.000-08:002015-01-07T22:09:36.380-08:00Gingerbread house and the VanDusen Gardens at Christmas<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I do like my Christmas lights. And I
have to say that the Christmas lights at the VanDusen Botanical Gardens are my
favourite in the whole of Vancouver. They are truly magical. They even have a Christmas
light show around the lake, red and blue and green lights dancing in time to The
Carol of the Bells, the brilliant colours reflecting in the water. It's
brilliant. Nothing makes me feel quite as Christmassy as going to the VanDusen
Gardens. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRUmmAaBZIkCkJKR_5e4LwN84ZjUUCbAi0AAkqP1I6VZLpVaHVChJzivLB_91Qo2EXAGCjsD2pMa8dw1or0sYZmGAoI_Bktl_MF_PqfIdgwsdMkG2uadM9NwIVTpGKV6sWshoHHj9BvWAh/s1600/vandusen-lights.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRUmmAaBZIkCkJKR_5e4LwN84ZjUUCbAi0AAkqP1I6VZLpVaHVChJzivLB_91Qo2EXAGCjsD2pMa8dw1or0sYZmGAoI_Bktl_MF_PqfIdgwsdMkG2uadM9NwIVTpGKV6sWshoHHj9BvWAh/s1600/vandusen-lights.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We've been to the Gardens every year
since we arrived in Vancouver. Snow. Ice. Rain. Nothing stops us. And it's one
of my fav Christmas things to do. Not only because I have a thing for bright
lights flashing on and off in time to music, but also because I get to share
the experience with my best friend in Vancouver. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Lucy and I always have a good giggle
when we’re there. Not surprising really when you encounter fully grown men
impersonating Dutch Christmas elves complete with elf hats and tight pants as
well as dodgy Dutch accents as you walk around the garden. It was only
this past year that we discovered the Dutch elves were actually supposed to be garden
gnomes. Now they have their own Christmas show. But back in the day, six years
ago, when I swear one of the Dutch elves was flirting with my friend (as we
posed for a particularly memorable photo (don’t ask: I’ll just tell you that we
decided to pose with our hot dogs, and leave the rest to your imagination), they
would just wander round the garden looking for pretty girls, like my friend, to
joke with. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Our yearly Christmas trip to the
VanDusen Gardens with Lucy and her daughter has always been the grand finale of
a day that usually starts off at our house with our annual ‘let’s-be-fun-mums
and spend the afternoon with our children making gingerbread houses’ tradition.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I don’t know when, how or what possessed
us to start making gingerbread houses with the kids every year. I guess it
seemed like a wonderful ‘parent-child’ thing to do. Over the years we have
learnt that it is anything but. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Assembling gingerbread houses (and I
mean from those gingerbread kits that appear in all the supermarkets at the end
of November) is an acquired skill. I would say that it has taken us a good
seven years to acquire this skill. Except I’m not actually sure any skill was
acquired at all; more like the gingerbread kits have become more user-friendly.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">In years gone by, when Amy, Carly and
Lucy’s daughter were as small as Lola and Lance are now, we had some right
disasters trying to put together houses made of gingerbread. There was the time
when we made the icing too runny and none of the gingerbread squares would
stick together. There was the year when we got one house between three little
girls who all had very different ideas about how the house should look. Not that
it mattered. We couldn't get the roof to stick on anyway. The whole thing
collapsed as we posed for a photo. There was the year I was really clever and
bought a whole gingerbread village in one box. It didn’t occur to me until the
box was opened that each house within that village was barely big enough to
feed a mouse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Over the years there have been changes,
advances if you will. And this year, maybe because it's our last year in
Vancouver, more likely because the adhesiveness of the icing in the kits has
improved, we got it perfect. I say ‘we’ but what I mean is the 8 and 10 year
olds were able to assemble their houses with no help from their mothers
whatsoever. Which is just as well since the mothers were busy sampling a nice
bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. Indeed, I will go as far as to say that Lucy did
very little at all, other than sip her wine and pose for photos with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">my</i> 4 year old daughter while <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I</i> tried to glue together the gingerbread
deer onto the candy cane poles of Lola’s gingerbread carousel kit with white
icing. Yes, the kits have become so advanced that we are no longer forced to
build houses; trains and carousels are also on offer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">This year our trip to the VanDusen
Gardens was tinged with sadness. There were tears from at least one child. And my
heart was heavy, even though I forced a smile on my face. There’s no escaping
the fact that we are leaving. There’s no escaping the fact that we are being
forced to leave behind some of our dearest friends, happiest memories and most
wonderful traditions in Vancouver. And this tradition, the gingerbread houses
and the Christmas lights at the VanDusen Gardens, is one of the things I’ll
miss the most about Christmas in Vancouver. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-84529540934677060202015-01-06T19:08:00.001-08:002015-01-06T19:08:24.673-08:00The Clays’ guide to Fun Things to Do at Christmas in Vancouver: Part II: The Nutcracker<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I've been going to see The Nutcracker
every year for the past ten years or so. It’s one of our family Christmas
traditions. The past seven Christmases have been in Vancouver. So, yes, I've
been to see the Goh Ballet production of The Nutcracker seven years straight. I
know. I deserve a medal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqh2lEH5mfKxiMAoQCANkIV7uA5qdTxgc8BjDTVnrSidNDBEP4sG8rdhrcR1UGeH3ZYgBRy2TMFAwvrEqU0OPgwa_QJviFD4ZEI0QmrNZ-xHmUFYNdaHi5ePoV3WgQNXNHpVVkuEMjECR5/s1600/nutcracker-goh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqh2lEH5mfKxiMAoQCANkIV7uA5qdTxgc8BjDTVnrSidNDBEP4sG8rdhrcR1UGeH3ZYgBRy2TMFAwvrEqU0OPgwa_QJviFD4ZEI0QmrNZ-xHmUFYNdaHi5ePoV3WgQNXNHpVVkuEMjECR5/s1600/nutcracker-goh.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I've sat through performances in which
Carly has fallen asleep on my lap and I've wondered why I thought it was a good
idea to take a 2 year old to see a two hour ballet performance. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I’ve sat through a performance where
Cliff was asked to escort a now 3 year old Carly out of the lobby of the
theatre because she was having a hissy fit of such epic proportions during the
intermission that her screams of rage could be heard over the orchestra tuning
up inside the theatre for the second half of the show. Now what, you may be
asking yourself, did Cliff do to his sweet 3 year old daughter to incur such
wrath? His crime? Well, he had the nerve to poke the straw into Carly’s juice
box. Without asking. Apparently she could do it herself! That was the first and
last time Cliff ever came to see The Nutcracker with his family. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I’ve been to performances where I’ve had
to drag the kids (when they were 4 and 6) into the theatre, kicking and
screaming, because they saw the posters for The Monkey King outside the theatre and
thought that I was going to make them sit through that. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I’ve sat through a performance while heavily
pregnant, busting for a pee with a child wedged on each knee, an elbow or two
digging into my bladder, wondering why I had bought three tickets for the show
when one ticket would clearly have sufficed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Indeed, I've seen The Nutcracker ballet
so many times I've witnessed one of the Goh Ballet’s finest male dancers
graduate from dancing the Nutcracker to the Prince. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">To be honest, I've seen The Nutcracker
so many times I could probably dance the Sugar Plum Fairy myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">But it’s what we do. Every Christmas.
Amy, Carly and I put on our glad rags and head out to the theatre. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">This year Lola was invited to join us
for our girly afternoon. I figured that now she had reached the grand old age
of four she was old enough to sit through the performance without falling asleep, talking,
complaining, needing the bathroom or having a totally hissy fit when I told her
to shush! Failing that, I figured if she had to be removed from the theatre for
non-compliant behavior, the older girls were at an age where they could stay in
the theatre without me if I had to make a run for it with Lola. Some things do
get easier as the kids get older.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We arrived at the theatre in a flurry of great excitement having bumped into Lola's preschool friend on the way into the theatre, and waved at Amy's classmate who was in the choir. The curtain hadn’t even been raised and
Lola was on my lap. Truth be told, it’s been several years since I’ve had a
child sit on my lap during The Nutcracker, and I thoroughly enjoyed snuggling
her, watching the performance through her excited eyes, as if I was watching it
for the first time myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We weren’t long into the performance
when the 5 or 6 year old behind me started up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Who's that guy?” she asked in a loud
whisper, as the Nutcracker transformed from a wooden toy into an adult-sized
male ballet dancer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“The Nutcracker!” her mother whispered
back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“What happened to him?” was the next
question. Followed quickly by: “Is he real?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Before her mother could answer, another
round of questions were launched: Why is the Christmas tree growing? Where did
the mice come from? Why are snowflakes falling? The questions were never-ending.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Lola, meanwhile, sat quietly on my lap. Transfixed
by the performance on the stage. And I couldn’t help it. I felt smug. Not just
a little bit. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">But a lot.</i> Here was my
4 year old sitting quietly through the show. Not asking any dumb questions that
half the theatre could hear. Because… well, obviously, because a perfect mother
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Nutcracker a hundred times before bringing her to the actual show. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Obviously, it was paying off. Obviously
my 4 year old daughter was watching the ballet and taking in every moment,
understanding every nuance of the performance. Obviously, she was so enthralled
by the music and the costumes and the dancing, that nothing could distract her.
Obviously…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Mum!” whispered Lola loudly. “I’m
hungry. When are you going to open the Maltesers?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">And that was that! My smug mother bubble
was unceremoniously popped. And another Clay trip to the theatre to see the Christmas
performance of The Nutcracker would be remembered… for all the wrong reasons! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><o:p></o:p></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-7777808153998689222015-01-05T15:07:00.001-08:002015-01-06T19:16:05.857-08:00The Clays’ guide to Fun Things to Do at Christmas in Vancouver: Part I: Capilano Suspension Bridge<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; font-size: 13pt;">We've built up a lot of Christmas
traditions since we moved to Vancouver. Things we do every Christmas as a
family. Things we actually have </span><i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; font-size: 13pt;">fun</i><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; font-size: 13pt;">
doing together as a family. Now that we are moving on, we will have to create
new fun traditions next year. But we’ve worked so hard perfecting the ones we
have in Vancouver that I can’t let all my fun know-how in Vancouver go to
waste. In the spirit of Christmas, I have decided to impart my knowledge on to
others. </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">And so, without further ado I give you
the Clays’ Fun Things to Do at Christmas in Vancouver:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Part I: Capilano Suspension Bridge<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Capilano Suspension Bridge is a
spectacular suspension footbridge over a canyon in North Van. It's pretty
amazing. If you’re the kind of person who likes to swing 70 metres over an ice-cold
river on a rickety 120 year old wooden bridge with a hundred other tourists.
Many of who decide to stop in the middle of the swaying bridge to pose for a
photo. Which means that you also have to stand in the middle of the bridge behind
them waiting patiently for them to take the shot. And in today’s world of
digital cameras that means at least five or six shots of exactly the same pose
until they capture that quintessential picture perfect image. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">If you're like me, and have a perfectly
rational fear of walking across a few thin planks of old wood way above a river
that is gushing over massive boulders, you want to march across that damn
bridge as quickly as possible. Why anyone would enjoy swinging so vulnerably in
the air, knowing fine well that toppling over the railings or a collapsing
bridge would send you to your most certain death in an ice cold river below is
beyond me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">And yet still we go. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Every year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Without fail.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">At Christmas.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">If you want to heighten that intense
feeling of ‘oh-shit-get-me-off-this-thing-I don’t-want-to-die’ I suggest you
visit the Capilano Suspension Bridge at Christmas. At this special time of the year,
you can go and wobble on the bridge<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> in
the dark</i>. Because the only thing more terrifying than crossing that bridge
in the day is to do it at night. When it's pitch black. When you can hear the
water gushing below you. But all you can see when you peer over the edge of the
bridge is infinite darkness. Sounds like fun, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">This is what the Clay family does every
year at Christmas. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">For fun.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Christmas is supposed to be a time of
family. And if you want to find out how much family means to you, I dare you to
take your family to the Capilano Suspension Bridge. Stand in the middle of that
rickety wooden bridge over an abyss of inky black darkness and as the bridge
sways precariously back and forth as some Santa sized individual steps foot on the
bridge at one end, imagine the bridge collapsing, imagine one of your children
leaning too far over the edge, imagine someone dear to you plummeting into that
darkness below and you will experience the true meaning of Christmas. I can
guarantee that you will hold onto your children a little bit harder and will
love them a little bit stronger once you imagine life without them. All their
complaining/bickering/talking back will seem like sweet Christmas carols to
your ears once you imagine them disappearing over the side of that bridge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I <i>cannot </i>guarantee that you will feel
the same way about other family members you are forced to spend Christmas with.
Husbands. Wives. Brothers. Sisters. Mothers. Fathers. In-laws. In those cases,
depending on how annoying they have become, you might just feel the need to
push them over the edge, be done with them, while you still have time to enjoy
a stress-free Christmas. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Every year we go to the Capilano Suspension
Bridge with our British friends who live in North Van. Every year we meet them,
usually in the ice cold snow or torrential freezing rain, at the entrance and
pose for photos by the totem poles. Every year as we head to the bridge my
friend and I whisper to each other. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I
hate this bridge. It freaks me out. Why are we doing this?”</i> And every year
after the bridge ordeal is over and we are swinging along the fairy lit treetop
walk (which is still high but not as scary because there is not an ice cold
river gurgling below) or we are safely back on the other side, sipping hot chocolate
and humming Good King Wensceslas along with the carol singers dressed in
Victorian attire outside the gift shop, then, and only then, does it seem all
worthwhile. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">This year we went to the Capilano Suspension
Bridge alone. Mainly because we are cheapskates. You see, if you are a BC
resident, when you pay the entrance fee to the bridge you get a years
membership for free. Which means you can go right along and torture yourself
all year long on that bridge, but only pay once for the privilege. It also
means that if you time it right you can get to see the Christmas lights at Capilano
twice in one year on only one annual membership. We found our membership cards
from last year and discovered that we had until the 21<sup>st</sup> of December
to get onto the bridge for free. Sadly the only night we could make it was an
evening when our North Van friends were busy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">The advantage of incorporating other
people into your Christmas traditions, is that once you have arranged to meet
them, you are committed to going through with the tradition. Whether you are in
the mood for </span><span style="font-size: 17px;">swinging on dodgy wooden bridges in the middle of the night </span><span style="font-size: 13pt;">or not. And this year, since we hadn’t arranged to meet our friends, we nearly didn't
make it to the bridge at all. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">At 6 pm we were still sitting around the
kitchen table, happily tucking into a curry, the thought of adventuring into
the cold wet world outside nothing more than a nightmare before Christmas.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Fifteen minutes later however, when I
would normally be thinking about bath times and bed times, we snapped into
action upon the realization that this was not only our last Christmas in
Vancouver but also our only opportunity to go to the bridge before we left. By
6.30 we were in the car racing across the Second Narrows Bridge to North Van.
Lance promptly fell asleep en route.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">By 7 pm we were swinging precariously on
the bridge, above a gushing river that we could hear but not see, with feet
that were turning into blocks of ice. We raced round the tree-top walk in
record time. And by 8 o’clock we were tucking into gingerbread men and hot
chocolate, listening to the Victorian carol singers, and feeling all warm and
Christmas-y inside, so glad that we had made the effort to carry out the
Capilano Suspension Bridge tradition one last time!</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-2011695728631997862014-12-31T14:49:00.001-08:002014-12-31T14:49:17.502-08:00Under pressure but moving into 2015 with great resolve<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; font-size: 13pt;">Two weeks tomorrow we leave for
Melbourne. While the rest of the world is counting down the hours to the New
Year, we are counting down the days to our imminent departure to the land of
Aus.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">While the rest of the world is
concentrating on perfecting their plans for their New Year’s Eve bash, I am
planning parties for every occasion. New Year's Eve with friends. Pizza parties
for the girls’ dance friends. Leaving parties for our family friends. Afternoon
afterschool parties for school friends who can't make the other parties.
Cupcakes for the last day of school parties (times four). And on top of all
this, there is also Lola's fifth birthday party to plan, five days before we
fly out. Somewhere in this crazy, mad, busy time I turn 44, although I already
know that my birthday will be a non event this year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I am an incredibly social person. I love
people. I love parties. I love laughing with friends over a glass of wine. So
the next two weeks should be a time of great excitement and joy. Instead I am
overwhelmed by an impeding sense of dread. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">So many people have told us how lucky we
are to have this opportunity to move to Australia. And maybe they're right. But
we’re the ones who are moving, we’re the ones who have to uproot our lives,
we’re the ones who are stepping out into the unknown. Does anyone <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">really</i> want to give up their safe,
comfortable lives and trade places with us right now?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Right now, I'd give anything not to
leave. I feel like I'm clinging on to my life in Vancouver like
a tightrope walker whose just slipped off their tightrope and is swinging
dangerously above the ground, holding on by only one sweaty palm, uncertain
whether the safety net below will hold, my grip slowly loosening against my
will. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Whether I want to go or not in two weeks
we are out of here. Two weeks tomorrow I’m going to let go of that rope and free fall
into that unknown, gaping darkness below: my new life on the other side of the world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I know I should embrace the
opportunities that are ahead of me. That’s what I’ve been telling the kids to
do for months. But the truth is; I'm having trouble letting go. Perhaps it's my
age. Perhaps I'm just tired of starting over every six years. Every time it
gets a little bit harder. Every time I feel like there is a little bit less of
myself to offer to new opportunities. Every time I just wish I could remain in
the safety of my familiar life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I know I need to snap out of myself. I
know that I am one of the luckiest people alive. I have a good husband who
loves me. I have been blessed with four gorgeous, healthy children. We have
wonderful friends scattered all over the world. We have the opportunity to
escape the debt and financial stress that living in Vancouver has held over us
for the past six years. And I might finally get the chance to write that novel
I keep prattling on about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The only way forward is to take this
giant leap of faith into the unknown. It’s time to let go of my six years in
Canada, and look forward to the next phase of my life. And let’s face it;
tomorrow seems as good a time as any. Tomorrow is not only a new day; it's the
beginning of a new year. And so I hereby solemnly and publicly announce that on
the strike of midnight today, I resolve to jump wholeheartedly into my new life
in Australia. I resolve to not look back on what I feel I am losing but to look
forward to what I am about to accomplish. Here goes…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">And as for all my family, friends and readers out
there, I wish you a wonderfully prosperous and very Happy New Year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-33123207207384735572014-12-28T14:26:00.001-08:002014-12-28T14:30:37.652-08:00Christmas morning<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Christmas morning dawned all too
quickly. Compared to Christmases past, compared to all those years of getting
up at 5 a.m with toddlers, seven o’clock is nothing. A walk in the park. A
lie-in on Christmas Day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Well, it would have been,<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> if</i> we’d got to bed at a decent hour the
night before. But there was a slight Santa incident involving a Barbie
Dream-house around one in the morning. I won't go into details, it might cause
another row between Mr and Mrs Claus, but suffice to say, two little girls both
charging downstairs, both feasting their eyes on <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">a</i> giant Barbie Dream-house that is only intended for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">one</i> of them is not the stuff fairy tale
Christmas mornings are made of. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">It wasn't so much that little girl
number 2 (our 4 year old) wasn't getting a dollhouse herself. She was getting a
Frozen Ice Palace. Which was perfect in principle. But in reality the Frozen
Ice Palace pales in comparison. It isn't even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">half</i> the size of the Dream-house. Even though it costs almost the
same!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWd3H4EHhjnLOi6kFYEfYbibvncZ8qBNAC0wOpliYTsf66iWg3GGnQjIuYx5TS3yI-BLmK0WG7Oa_8rSstI1oUX8D8BVuX9nZ5Y2ggjJ8-v-uOoIF66x_a-PDYAgQxcj_M0y_LWZzgEeDY/s1600/dreamhouse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWd3H4EHhjnLOi6kFYEfYbibvncZ8qBNAC0wOpliYTsf66iWg3GGnQjIuYx5TS3yI-BLmK0WG7Oa_8rSstI1oUX8D8BVuX9nZ5Y2ggjJ8-v-uOoIF66x_a-PDYAgQxcj_M0y_LWZzgEeDY/s1600/dreamhouse.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do you see what I mean? Barbie Dream-house is on the left; Frozen Ice Palace on the right.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Discovering this problem at one in the
morning, six hours before the little darlings are likely to wake up, is not a
picture book Christmas Eve scenario. I could already envisage the scene on
Christmas morning, and the interpretation of a 4 year upon seeing a giant
Barbie Dream-house for her sister and a tiny Frozen Ice Palace for herself:
clearly Santa could not love little sister as much as her 8 year old sister if
he only gave her a gift that was half the size. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We don’t want to think that our children
will notice things like this. We want them to be joyful and grateful over
everything they receive on Christmas morning. Not comparing the size and
number of gifts. But there was no way to escape the inequality in the size of these
gifts once they were assembled. Mrs Claus went down to the basement shortly
after midnight to see why it was taking Mr Claus so long to assemble the
dollhouses, immediately saw how crappy the Ice Palace looked compared to the
Dream-house and before you think up a response to the most awkward question ever: <i>“Is Father Christmas real?”</i>, Mr and Mrs
Claus had started to quarrel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The matter was resolved eventually. It
basically involved Santa spending the next hour dismantling the Frozen Ice Palace
and Barbie Dream-house that he’d spent the last two hours assembling, and
stuffing them back in their respective packaging so the kids wouldn't notice
the discrepancy in the size of their respective gifts until dad assembled them
on Christmas morning. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We didn't get to bed until two. And I
couldn't sleep. I was still wound up after rowing with my other half. Still
anxious about what would happen in the morning. Still worried whether I had
done a good job this year and found presents that the kids truly loved. There
is nothing worse than knowing that your child is only pretending to like their
Christmas presents on Christmas morning, knowing that they are doing their best
to hide their disappointment. Being (Mrs) Santa Claus is a huge responsibility.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I barely slept a wink. Thank god, the
kids weren't up at five. Even so, the chatter of excited little voices at 7 a.m
seemed unnaturally early. The kids bombed downstairs barely able to contain their
excitement, Cliff and I lumbered slowly behind: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">had he been? Had Santa been?</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Santa is always generous in our
household. Each child <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">always</i> has a
pile of presents from Santa waiting to be opened. I thought the kids would rush
into the living room and start ripping away at their presents. But they didn’t.
They were very calm about the whole thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">And Lola, my 4 year old who I was
convinced would be upset if she got a tiny palace for Christmas after seeing
her sister’s enormous mansion, surprised me the most.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">She did not rush over to her pile of
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Eventually she found what she was
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">She hurried over to me, and placed it in
my lap, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“This is for you Mummy!”</i> she
said with great excitement. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“From me! I
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I can’t begin to tell you how much
Christmas cheer that one gesture brought to my heart. My children are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">so </i>lucky. All year long they never want
for anything, and at Christmas they are spoiled rotten. I sometimes wonder
whether our excessive generosity will breed ungrateful, spoilt children. But
Lola’s gesture (giving me her present rather than dashing over to her pile of
pressies from Santa) demonstrated that Cliff and I must have been doing
something right! It was the perfect start to a perfect day. One of our best Christmases
ever!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">And in case you are wondering, this is
what Lola gave me for Christmas:</span></div>
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</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt0XxmppOdVmvMMbyLNESUEpgWn24hTqQJpELDctg0f6Cik-g3DD6pMk3ww4n81amRkpMMEkEFLV48VljRSHzmz43E_v7E3A_jQ05yK9BlZVL5BxNTbRUEXIlJAaWYQlIxK63eJX1fzRIW/s1600/owl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt0XxmppOdVmvMMbyLNESUEpgWn24hTqQJpELDctg0f6Cik-g3DD6pMk3ww4n81amRkpMMEkEFLV48VljRSHzmz43E_v7E3A_jQ05yK9BlZVL5BxNTbRUEXIlJAaWYQlIxK63eJX1fzRIW/s1600/owl.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">An owl stuffy called Icicles. So now I have
someone to snuggle in bed next time Mr Claus and I have a row!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-8199114109579069482014-12-20T17:02:00.003-08:002014-12-20T17:04:55.901-08:00Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things to do<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">One of the hardest things I find being a
parent is when one of my children is unhappy. We want the best for our kids. We
want them to be happy, successful, secure in the love of their family and
friends. We want everything bestowed upon them to be a positive experience. And
we want to protect them from every heartbreak imaginable. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">That's what I wish. Even though I know
it's impossible. Even though I know that with every heartbreak and
disappointment a braver, stronger, more empathetic person will emerge. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">It's a strange time in our household
right now. We’re in transition; stuck between the lives we know and are
comfortable with in Vancouver and anxiously anticipating the lives that
await us in Melbourne. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I feel it. Cliff feels it. But we've
been through this before so know what to expect, know that this uncertain time
is something to be endured, know that eventually it will pass and we belong
somewhere else. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Amy feels it for sure. And I've been
trying to help her through it. Talking. Cuddles. <a href="http://12hourstobedtime.blogspot.ca/2014/11/nothing-like-good-rap-to-get-you.html" target="_blank">Theme songs.</a> Grandpa suggested
that Amy should document our emigration to add to the family tree that he has
been compiling. Unlike my side of the family (who barely moved outside a 15
mile radius of Donny in the past 400 years), emigration has always been part of
life on Cliff’s side. Their family tree traces back from Canada to Austria via
Russia. With us, the emigration will continue to Australia. Documenting our
move, interviewing our family to contribute to the family tree has given Amy a
purpose. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The other kids seem to be getting on
with it. Carly is always pretty stoic. Unless she physically hurts herself.
Then she screams bloody murder. But she's always calm
about social stuff that would eat Amy alive. Being excluded at school. Sticking
up for herself. She just gets on with it. To the point that we almost believed
that a move to Aus was going to be no big deal either. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The same could be said for the little
ones, Lola and Lance. It's easy to assume that because they have few ties here,
they are only just embarking on the journey of friendships and activities, that
their attachments are less strong. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">But it's becoming increasing apparent,
that this is not the case. We are all beginning to feel that bittersweet sting
of goodbye. The sweetness of every friend and teacher that we’ve
established a close attachment is now the source of our pain, the sting of
saying goodbye. And with it comes that lurking unspoken fear: will my next
teacher be as good? Will my new friends be as kind or funny? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Last week, Carly broke down in tears before
her last guitar lesson with Dennis. He's a good teacher. Patient. Kind. He'll
be hard to replace. Carly sobbed while she made him a thank you card before her
lesson. And she sobbed inconsolably in the car on the way home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Today was Lola's last dance class. She
loves her dance teacher, Miss Ashley. Her dance teacher is young and pretty,
gentle and soft-spoken. She’s perfect for my Lola. But today Lola had to say goodbye.
Lola kicked off as only Lola can. Lashing out at her brother. Moody.
Uncooperative. It took me a while to figure out what was going on. But then it
all began to make sense. Lola was upset about saying goodbye to her dance
teacher. She was angry and sad and didn't know how to channel the conflicting
emotions swirling around inside her heart and mind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I have been through this so many times.
Saying goodbye to friends and people I love. It's unbearable. It's
heartbreaking. There may be a whole world of new friendships waiting for me in
Melbourne. But I don't want them. I want to stick with what I know. I want to
pursue the friendships I have already invested in. Saying goodbye to friends.
Moving away. They are all part of a grieving process. Letting go of what I know
and love is hard. I find it difficult to navigate through my feelings. No
wonder my girls are so distraught about saying goodbye. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">There is nothing I can do to make them
feel better. I can talk about friendships and pen pals and FaceTime. But that
requires effort on both sides of a friendship. The people who we are leaving
behind will continue their lives normally. Without us in it. We may be missed,
but our friends do not need to hold into these friendships as much as we do. It’s
just a fact of life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">So I say these things to my children
about staying in touch but my heart isn't in it. I already know, from
experience, that we will remain friends with very few of the people who have
touched our lives here. I don't want to make empty promises to my children. Nor
do I want them to learn the painful lesson of saying goodbye at such a young
age. Even though I know this process will help them evolve into people I will
love and respect, not because they are my flesh and blood, but because I admire
their characters. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Today, when Lola broke down, I didn't
bother with words and promises about the future. I just held her tight. I had a
thousand things to do when we got back from dance class. Put the groceries away
before the frozen stuff started to thaw. Get a snack out for the big girls.
Quickly sweep the living room floor before Amy's friend came over. But I didn't
bother with any of it. I carried Lola from the car and we plonked ourselves
down on the couch. She sobbed inconsolably. And my heart silently broke as I
felt her pain. We just snuggled like that for a long time. Until the trickle of
tears subsided. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">As we snuggled, it dawned on me that
there are times as a parent where we can't take away our children's pain; we
can only be there to support and comfort them as they are going through
whatever is making them unhappy. Sometimes I am so blinded by wanting to help
my children or ease their pain that I forget that words and advice are not
always what they are looking for. Sometimes they just want to be held. They
just want to feel loved. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Today I rediscovered the power of a
mother’s love for her child. These next few months are going to be tough, but
we will get through them. Together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-57591410081705781152014-12-18T21:56:00.002-08:002014-12-18T21:56:51.009-08:00Santa's listening<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">My 3 year old son loves saying certain
words that he knows he’s not supposed to say. Hate. Stupid. Dumb. To name but a
few.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We've tried everything to get him to
stop. But he persists in using them. I suspect he likes watching the look of
horror on his sisters’ faces when he uses these words. He also seems to get a
kick out of the ‘cross’ face I pull when I’m about to tell him off. He thinks
it's funny. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Since Christmas is approaching it seemed
a good time to put the age-old threat of Santa to good use. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Yesterday, when Lance called Santa, of
all people, stupid I said in the sternest voice I could muster. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“You know Santa’s listening, right? And you
know he doesn't bring toys to naughty boys. If he finds out you’re calling him
stupid he'll bring you coal and soap for Christmas.”</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Soap?”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">
Lola gasped. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Why soap?”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“To
wash all those bad words out of his mouth,”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> I
explained. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">That threat worked for maybe 24 hours. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Today my 3 year old son piped up again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Christmas
parties are soooooo stupid,”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> he said,
as I tried to jolly him along to his preschool Christmas party, which he really
did not want to go to. I didn’t particularly want to go either (fourth
child-millionth preschool Christmas party-never gonna see these people
again-attitude) but I still thought my son should show up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“What
have we talked about Lance?”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> I said
sharply. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“What have we said about calling
things stupid?”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">There was silence for about 30 seconds,
then my sweet angelic 3 year old son turned to me, and said, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I'm getting you coal for Christmas.” </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Me.”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">
I feigned shock, horror and surprise. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Why?”</i>
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Because
you just said a bad word.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“No,
I didn't!”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Yes, you did.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">My son giggled. He'd got me good. He
knew. And I knew. Still, I decided to call his bluff. Surely a mother with 43
years of life experience can outwit a 3 year old who more often than not puts
his pants on back to front or inside out. Surely I could trick my son into
saying the word ‘stupid’ again. How hard could it be?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“What
did I say?”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> I asked innocently.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Lance looked up at me and laughed. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“You said the ‘S’ word, mummy.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">At this rate it looks like I’m going to be the one
waking up to a stocking full of coal and soap on Christmas morning after all. Not my son.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-36032376867843735382014-12-16T17:42:00.004-08:002014-12-16T17:42:36.304-08:00Helping the 'poorly' people<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">For the first week of December all I
heard about from my kids was that they <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">had</i>
to contribute to the food drive at school. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Carly and Lola were the most persistent.
Although Lance put in his penny’s worth over dinner too when he announced,
<i>“We’re collecting food for the poorly people, mum!”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I’m not sure where he got the word
‘poorly’ from. Growing up in Yorkshire, we used the term ‘poorly’ to describe
someone when they weren’t feeling well. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">For example, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><i>“Why wasn’t your Ken at school today?’<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><i>“He was feeling poorly.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">In Lance’s case though it was just the
sound of the word that appealed to him. Obviously he meant poor. Even though he
said poorly. I did not wish to embark on a lesson in Yorkshire-isms with my 3
year old son. Nor did I wish to explain the difference between being poor and
being poorly. So I let it </span><span style="font-size: 17px;">go. But</span><span style="font-size: 13pt;"> couldn’t help but smile to myself every time
the word ‘poorly’ cropped up in conversation.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">But back to the dinner time
conversation:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Lance: <i>“We’re collecting food for the
poorly people, mum!”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Carly: <i>“We can bring in anything non
perishable.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Lola: <i>“I want to bring in peanut butter…
And juice… Pasta… Tins of meat. Healthy food.” </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Lance: <i>“Yes! Poorly people need to eat
healthy too!” </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">In Christmases past, I’ve raided the
cupboards on the last day of the school food drive and donated anything that's almost
at it's use by date. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Yes!</i> I am <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i> community minded. But this year my
kids were so gung-ho about the food drive, I had the feeling that pulling out
that fancy jar of blueberry honey someone brought over for brunch one Sunday
and that had immediately been stored away unopened at the back of the cupboard,
not to mention the five cans of cranberry sauce left over from Thanksgiving,
was not going to cut it this year. Instead Lola, Lance and I had a trip to the
supermarket to select food for the 'poorly' people. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We grabbed a jar of peanut butter, some
tins of sweetcorn, a couple of bags of pasta and...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><i>“We need meat,”</i> said Lola, her eyes
lighting up as she caught sight of the tins of luncheon meat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg51PqZogarkIjEGGj06BX_vugrHjnGX_uSvXoU90G5vU1BBJ8-iEsud8oiUN220k28dqJAqZFEs3QuVo5cLJXmux9QPVKzgJL6dlxzlUivczLhi46R3xaIcUfrrmHbvCLsNnY98jPkbfse/s1600/luncheon+meat.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg51PqZogarkIjEGGj06BX_vugrHjnGX_uSvXoU90G5vU1BBJ8-iEsud8oiUN220k28dqJAqZFEs3QuVo5cLJXmux9QPVKzgJL6dlxzlUivczLhi46R3xaIcUfrrmHbvCLsNnY98jPkbfse/s1600/luncheon+meat.png" height="243" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">My stomach lurched uneasily. After all,
I am a child of the seventies who was subjected to tinned luncheon meat, canned
corned beef and canned sardine sandwiches, not to mention those jars of crab
paste, on a regular basis. Fresh deli meat was not a right but a privilege in
those days. Indeed my children have no idea how lucky they are never to have
been faced with sardines on toast. Or forced to scrap that yellow jelly stuff off their luncheon meat in a bid to make it just a tad bit easier to swallow. And don’t
get me started on the crab paste. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Needless to say, the delight on Lola's
face when she spied the cans of luncheon meat cracked me up. If I ever forced
her to eat that stuff, I could guarantee she wouldn't be quite so enthusiastic.
Maybe I’ll do a social experiment one night and feed the kids a variety of
foods I was forced to eat as a child, say fried liver, oxtail soup, tongue,
steak and kidney pie, potted meat sandwiches. Maybe they’d finally appreciate
how lucky they are…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Anyway, back to the story and my kind
hearted children helping out the poorly… As we wandered around the supermarket
throwing tins of soup and veg and meat into the shopping trolley, the discussion
turned to whether ‘poorly’ people should be allowed dessert. Lola and Lance
immediately and unanimously voted “YES!” as if the 'poorly' people’s human
rights would be violated if they weren’t allowed dessert after their luncheon
meat sandwiches. Just because you are poor does not mean that you shouldn't be
allowed treats like Twizzlers (thrown in the shopping cart by Lola) and pink
wafer biscuits (Lance’s contribution: he refused to give up the chocolate ones when I tried to donate them!). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">I have to say that despite my sarcastic
inner monologue reminiscing about some of my finer culinary experiences as a child,
I really enjoyed selecting food for the food drive with my kids. It was so
wonderful listening to their excited chatter as we discussed the foods we
should donate. I felt so warm as they insisted that poor people need treats too. And it was so much more satisfying letting the kids choose food
items out for themselves than for me to delve into the darkest corners of my
food cupboards to retrieve the cans that were gathering dust. It felt wonderful
to know that we were doing something good for the community. </span><span style="font-size: 17px;">And</span><span style="font-size: 13pt;"> it felt even better knowing that it was <i>my</i> kids who were the ones forcing <i>me</i> to step up for the food drive this Christmas!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-77754327742082391942014-12-15T21:44:00.002-08:002014-12-15T21:49:17.774-08:00Lola and her admirers<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">With each passing day Lola is becoming
more and more of a character. She's so beautiful. I know she’s my daughter so I
may be a tad biased, but I would stand by my statement even if she hadn’t
inherited half my genes. She has the blondest hair with just the hint of a curl
at the ends. Blue eyes that light up the minute something tickles her fancy. A
curved-up dainty nose (that definitely didn’t come from my half of the genes).
And the cheekiest grin and most infectious giggle when something cracks her up.
She's awesome. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Apparently, I’m not the only one who thinks
so. In the past couple of months Lola has been collecting quite a string of
admirers. Little boys who can't quite keep their hands, eyes or minds off her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Her first admirer came to my attention
while watching Lola in her second gymnastics class. The kids were lined up in a
higgedly-piggedly fashion waiting for their turn to swing on the bar. Lola was
hopping up and down impatiently. Her pigtails were bobbing up and down, her
cute blonde curls tantalizingly close to the nose of the little boy behind
her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I noticed that he was watching Lola.
Paying close attention to those curls. Indeed his head was bobbing up and down
in time to Lola’s bouncing up and down. The poor boy was mesmerized. And as if
in a trance his hand reached out and wrapped itself around one of those curls.
He didn't pull hard. But he just couldn't resist touching those golden locks. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Lola spun round immediately, of course.
As soon as she felt the tug of a pigtail. And she gave that little boy a look.
The kind of look she might have seen her mother giving her father. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The teacher called Lola’s name next. And
Lola skipped towards the bar merrily. Kind of giggling. Definitely grinning.
And that poor little boy remained glued to the spot. Stupefied. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The next gymnastics class, that
little boy made sure that he was sitting criss-crossed apple sauced
next to Lola. And when the class were told to lie on their backs and stretch
out their bodies, that little boy decided to put his head on Lola's tummy instead
as he lay down. Lola saw me watching from the upstairs viewing area and grinned
up at me as he wriggled away. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Dance class was next. Tap. Of course,
there were boys in the tap class. Loud creatures. Stomping their shoes. Sidling
up to Lola. Who pretended not to notice. Made a point of looking the other way,
rather snootily, I might add. There may have even been a slight flick of her
hair as she looked away. But when she glanced up at me, that unmistakable cheeky
grin was in place, her twinkling eyes almost saying: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">'Gosh, mum! What are boys like?'</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Her latest admirer is a little boy from
preschool. I had absolutely no idea who the little boy was, let alone that he
had a soft spot for my daughter, until a gift appeared on Lola's coat hook. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">To
Lola. Love Phoenix</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">! read the tag. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We took the gift home. Opened up the bag
with great excitement. Inside were two colouring books. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“He
must really like you,”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> I chuckled when I saw
what was inside the bag. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Look. He's
giving you a Spider-man colouring book. You <u>must</u> be special!”</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Once Lola and her little brother were
colouring in said colouring book, I asked, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Did
he just give you a present? Or did he give something to everyone in the class?”</i>
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Don't
know,”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> replied Lola, giggling impishly as she
tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The next day as I dropped Lance off at
preschool (the same preschool that Lola goes to, just at different times) I
asked the teacher about Phoenix. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Phoenix
gave Lola a gift,”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> I said. “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Do you know if gave everyone a gift? Or just Lola.”</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Just
Lola!” </span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The teacher laughed.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Lola beamed up. A perfect angel. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“That's
weird!”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> stated Lance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Well,
Phoenix likes Lola,”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> the teacher tried to explain. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“There's something about her that he just enjoys.”
</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Lola went into full girl overload.
Giggling. Hair flicking. Shrugging her shoulders in a cute way. The full works.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">And that’s when I realized why all these
little boys found her so appealing. She really is. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">If you’re not quite sure what I mean, look
at this picture. See how she draws herself. All smiley and happy and girly. </span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB6fx2x_-D8yFSGT3n_lV5r6aYHISDlZ4Gb-SlW6MU94uIR_LdgIHko5CaYNNRt791LNglMtJL_bpT_57c2tEPjBCQSItYzWSSXe8BZb7ZwTSjYr9NF00R8Yyrw-yyTeZDfRR1udnV6_ZZ/s1600/lola.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB6fx2x_-D8yFSGT3n_lV5r6aYHISDlZ4Gb-SlW6MU94uIR_LdgIHko5CaYNNRt791LNglMtJL_bpT_57c2tEPjBCQSItYzWSSXe8BZb7ZwTSjYr9NF00R8Yyrw-yyTeZDfRR1udnV6_ZZ/s1600/lola.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Wouldn’t you want to hang out with her too?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-76767121654704077852014-12-10T22:15:00.001-08:002014-12-10T22:15:45.751-08:00The preschool situation is resolved: an update<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Remember that <a href="http://12hourstobedtime.blogspot.ca/2014/10/what-could-be-bigger-stress-for-me.html" target="_blank">angst ridden blog post</a> I
wrote about a month ago, the one about my son, and his preschool, and how I
couldn't decide whether to take him out or not. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Well, I had a word with the teachers in
the end. Very grown-up of me, I know. I spoke to them about my concerns.
Lance’s awareness and inability to adapt to the special needs child in the
classroom. The boisterous boys. The unsettling presence of parents waiting in
the cloakroom for the duration of the class. And the impact these factors might
have on my child. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The preschool teachers came back with a
different point of view. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“He's
not stressed at all while he's here,”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> said his
teacher, which I find hard to believe because as soon as he clamps his eyes on
me at the end of his class he is beside himself with grief. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“It's just Lance only wants to do what Lance
wants to do. He won't do anything else.”</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“But
he should do what you tell him to do,”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> I gasped.
Obviously I didn't want to hear <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nor</i>
did I want to believe a different version of my story, the version where Lance
was the stubborn, obstinate child that the teachers secretly despised, and I
was the over concerned mother who couldn't comprehend that her ‘perfect’ child
was not perfect. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Well,
he doesn't,”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> she insisted. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Then
why don't you make him?</span></i><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> is what I wanted to say.
But I've lived in Vancouver for too long and no longer voice my opinions out
loud for fear of reprisal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Instead I said, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Well, if he doesn't do as he's told you can call me. And I'll come back
to the classroom and give him what for.”</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The teacher looked amused. And I totally
understood why. It’s probably the first time she’s heard a parent actually side
with her over her child’s behaviour. If you ask me, parents are becoming so
overly involved with the school and so opinionated over what the teachers are
doing wrong in the classroom that teachers no longer feel secure in
disciplining our children as they can no longer rely on parents having their
back. I, meanwhile, am old school. I trust the teachers to teach my kids. I
expect my kids to be respectful to their teachers. And if my kids were ever to
be disrespectful then I would expect the teachers to notify me, knowing that I
will discipline my kids too. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Excuse me. Rant over.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">It doesn't seem to work like that
anymore. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Anyway, after our conversation, I showed
up to Lance’s next class a little bit more positive. What a waste of time that
turned out to be. Lance cried. Lance fussed. Lance refused to leave the cloakroom.
Nothing had changed. I was confused. Dismayed. Frustrated. Unable to figure out
what the fuck was going on, and what on earth I was going to do about it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The night before Lance’s next class I
received an email. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Could you drop Lance
off fifteen minutes after class has started? </i>It said, well stated. In no
uncertain terms. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">My heart sank when I read these words. I
felt like I failed. As a parent. How come my child had been singled out for special
treatment? What was wrong with me? What was wrong with him? Why wouldn't he
settle? Oh, and not to mention the shame of being asked to come in after class
had started. I felt so embarrassed. Ashamed. And pissed off. Pissed off at the
teachers for misunderstanding my son. Pissed off at my son for refusing to
settle. Pissed off at myself for failing to raise a child who integrated into
preschool easily.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">When we arrived at preschool fifteen
minutes after school had started all the other kids were already in the
classroom. The classroom was quiet and orderly. Groups of kids were stood around
tables engaging in various activities. Play dough. Magnets. Lego. No one was
too loud. No one was screaming for their mum. No one was racing around knocking
shit over. No parents were lingering in the cloakroom. Lance’s teacher opened
the door and escorted my son into the classroom. Reluctantly and tearfully he
followed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Lola and I immediately hit the community
centre café for a much needed cup of coffee. I bumped into one of the preschool
mums there. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Where
were you?”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> she asked. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“They
asked me to come in late,”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> I confessed. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“They thought Lance might settle easier if
the class was already in progress.”</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“That
makes sense,”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> she replied. My friend used to run a
daycare and is as down to earth as they come, so I trust her judgement. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Even
so,”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> I said, with a heavy heart. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I get the feeling that this is more about
Lance disturbing the other kids than them disturbing him.” </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">That was a couple of weeks ago. It's
taken some time but I have to say those preschool teachers knew what they were
doing. Lance now goes to school without a fuss. It seems that the noise and
chaos at the beginning of school when everyone was being dropped off, when kids
were crying and shouting, when the atmosphere inside the classroom was chaotic
and disorganized, when parents were lingering, was all too much for my little
man. Arriving fifteen minutes later, when everything was calm, was all he
needed to feel safe and secure and at ease in his preschool environment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Indeed, yesterday, he even came home
with some artwork he had made:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8P0BW0JLg08gu4eNLoh-3HgTqx7r7Pp4UGURkCpwt9mhgPmQBTWVdnDK9NFvdCWOfO6DN8Ldh38PdPl0HycGye6TyT_qh0er_QD7N7ilTK9FIdGmG8cURwFrZw2oDdLhVcg2KifRN_pAS/s1600/preschool.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8P0BW0JLg08gu4eNLoh-3HgTqx7r7Pp4UGURkCpwt9mhgPmQBTWVdnDK9NFvdCWOfO6DN8Ldh38PdPl0HycGye6TyT_qh0er_QD7N7ilTK9FIdGmG8cURwFrZw2oDdLhVcg2KifRN_pAS/s1600/preschool.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The only thing left now if for him to join in at circle time...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">And as for me, well, I'm just happy i chatted with his teachers, and had faith in them. They definitely came through in the end! </span></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-2731546118380017722014-12-09T22:21:00.001-08:002014-12-09T22:21:57.350-08:00O Christmas Tree!<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I started collecting Christmas ornaments
around the time Cliff and I got married. We were married in Antigua at the end
of November in 2002. And somehow, it seemed fitting to buy a souvenir that
would remind us of that time. With Christmas fast approaching and with such
unusual and delightful Christmas ornaments (made from shells and starfish,
no doubt with the tourists in mind) on offer, they seemed like the ideal souvenir
to signify the start of our married life together. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEl1iQBH4GaOLhDlfhr4Ckp0DD7ZnWAWWcvDLT-eDEoS7-bv7Tt7DSOKz-M8kuX92DJZOs8CF7zIgjqtIMl-fXENfE06uH-8SSBS83jMr-n9X8lqkFaYr226haOEy3fDDsbkwBElOb54Yc/s1600/christmas-tree.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEl1iQBH4GaOLhDlfhr4Ckp0DD7ZnWAWWcvDLT-eDEoS7-bv7Tt7DSOKz-M8kuX92DJZOs8CF7zIgjqtIMl-fXENfE06uH-8SSBS83jMr-n9X8lqkFaYr226haOEy3fDDsbkwBElOb54Yc/s1600/christmas-tree.png" height="225" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Over time our collection has grown. And
as it has expanded, our collection tells the story of our family. There are four
ornaments, one for each child, symbolizing the year that each one of them was born. There are ornaments for all their favourite characters, characters they
are outgrowing, but ornaments that never fail to bring a smile and giggle as
they are carefully brought out of storage, unraveled from their layers of
protective tissue paper and placed lovingly on the tree. There's Pinky Pie. Dora.
Thomas. Disney princesses: Mulan for Amy, Ariel for Carly, and this year Anna
and Elsa for Lola. There's an ‘I love JB’ decoration from when Carly turned
five and loved Justin Bieber. And the tie that Lance wore the first time he
visited Santa. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We have ornaments from the places we have visited. An angel
koala from our trip to Australia two years ago. A Mexican nativity scene from a
family holiday with Cliff’s family six or seven years ago. A very regal looking
University of Pennsylvania bauble from our time in Philly. This year the Statue
of Liberty and Henry the Eighths six wives joined our tree as reminders of our
trips to New York and London. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">There are the ornaments that Cliff’s grandma made
for each person in our family. A name cross-stitched in Christmas colours. Cliff
has had his since he was a child. I was given one (for Christmas) the year I
married Cliff: the ultimate symbol of acceptance by Cliff’s grandma. With every
child came a new cross-stitched Christmas ornament for our tree. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Avenir Book'; font-size: 17px;">And there are ornaments the kids made, photos of our dogs in wreaths, a happy reminder of cherished pets that are no longer with us.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Our tree might not look polished but it
holds twelve years of memories and dreams and hopes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">In my mind the evening we decorate our
Christmas tree is always a wonderful time. One of those cherished moments the
children will remember long into adulthood. Christmas carols playing.
A glass of wine in hand. Laughter filling the air. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The reality, of course, is anything <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">but</i> a serene and peaceful scene.
Children racing back and forth to the tree clutching precious ornaments in
their hands. Threatening to collide with each other, with the tree, with my
glass of wine placed precariously on the floor by my feet. There’s always me,
on the verge of a nervous breakdown, as I see the family heirlooms dangling
dangerously from my 3 year old’s hand. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Last year, I snapped: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Be careful! That one’s delicate!”</i> so
many times that the kids refused to touch the decorations in the end, too
afraid of breaking them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">This year I’m more relaxed. Or is it perhaps
that the kids are older? Either way, every time they take an ornament from my
outstretched hand, they ask: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Is this one
delicate?”</i> And I feel a pang of guilt for getting so uptight last year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“It's
fine,”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> I urge. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Take it. It doesn’t matter if it breaks.”</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Avenir Book;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">But </span><span style="font-size: 17px;">they</span><span style="font-size: 13pt;"> don't always believe me. Only Amy is brave enough to take the most delicate ornaments.</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Avenir Book'; font-size: 13pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Avenir Book;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">As always, there are clusters of ornaments on the
tree when we’re done. Amy's cluster is up high, near the top of the
tree. My most precious ornaments are up there, the seashell angel and starfish
Santa, miraculously <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>out of reach from
small curious hands. Down at the bottom there are a cluster of princesses and
unicorns: Lola’s making. And on the lowest branches hang Thomas and Lightning
McQueen, their wheels firmly touching the ground. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">There's only one ornament I want to hang
on the tree this year. I bought it seven years ago. In Vancouver airport. We
had been in Vancouver for Cliff’s job interview, the one at UBC, the one that
led us to Canada. And the whole time we had been away, I had been waiting for my first liver MRI results, the ones
that would show whether the cancer in my eye had metastatized to my liver. I
was bricking it. Naturally. Petrified that at that precise moment when our
lives were supposed to move forward with opportunities and career and family, I
was going to learn that I was living on borrowed time. I found this
ornament in the airport shop as we waited to board our flight home. Delicate. Unassuming. Engraved with the words: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hope. Faith. Love.</i> Somehow this ornament represented all that was
in my heart. So I bought it. And now every year, I hang it on the tree as a
reminder of how lucky I have been. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Compared to last year, this year’s tree decorating
evening is fun and relaxed. Everyone is happy. Cliff is watching hockey on the telly, skillfully avoiding the chaos around. Carly is strumming ‘Silent Night” on her
guitar, which may sound idyllic but believe me, she’s only had seven guitar
lessons so the strumming is more vigorous than silent. The kids eagerly hang all
the baubles on the tree save my special one. And only the Cindy Lou Who ornament loses her
head. One casualty, one decapitation, per year is not so bad, is it? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">As we placed the last baubles on the tree, Amy announced that Joseph from
our Little People nativity scene has also gone walkabout. Another casualty of Christmas. Although in Joseph's case you can't really blame the poor chap for going AWOL…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">But I’ll worry about him later. Tonight,
I’m going to sit back and simply enjoy our beautiful Christmas tree!</span><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-65171881074945875572014-12-02T21:52:00.000-08:002014-12-02T21:52:52.653-08:00Manners maketh the child<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">If there's one thing I can't stand, it's
children who don't have any manners. It sets my teeth on edge when the kids’
friends come over and they don't say please or thank you. It's one of my pet
peeves. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Manners cost nothing. Apart from the time,
patience and perseverance of the parents drilling manners into their child.
Sure it's hard work. Sure there can be awkward scenes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Like, for example, when you are in a
Boston Pizza with the family and one of your children refuses to say ‘please’
to the waitress when he asks for an apple juice. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“If you don’t say please, you won’t get
an apple juice,” you gently chide your child. Instead of saying ‘please’ (which
would take one second and result in a yummy drink) your child acts as if you’ve
just taken a red hot poker and thrust it down his throat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“No!” he screams. And the entire
restaurant turns round to glare judgementally at the parent, the parent who <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">must</i> be hurting their child: why else
would the child be screaming like that?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">An epic meltdown ensues, so epic that
you have to forcibly remove your child from the restaurant for a few minutes to
have a proper chat, in other words, a chat in which you don’t have to mince
your words for fear of retribution from the well-meaning customers, who are
naturally watching your every move, and waiting to pounce (in your child’s
defense) if you discipline your child too harshly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Yes, teaching your child manners may be
painful. Yes, it takes a lot of hard work and perseverance. Yes, you may get
glared at in Boston Pizza while trying to teach your child the polite way to
behave. But it's worth it in the end. Good manners can take you far in life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">There is nothing I dislike more than
rude children. Bad-mannered children just turn me off. As soon as a child
doesn't use their manners or is blatantly rude, I shut down and proceed to interact
with them as little as possible. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">It never ceases to amaze me how many
rude children there are out there. In the summer we had a particularly obnoxious
child sleep over at our house. One of Carly's friends. We couldn't wait for the
child to leave. So obnoxious was she that we didn't even make waffles for
breakfast the next day. We just wanted her out of the house. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">At said sleepover, Carly, Lola and the obnoxious
friend were watching a movie in the back room. I peeked my head round the door.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Would
you like some popcorn?</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> I asked. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Yes,
please,</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> said Carly, my 8 year old, with a smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Yes,
please,</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> said her 4 year old sister, Lola, with
a grin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Sure,
</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">said the obnoxious friend, without
taking her eyes off the telly. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">With
butter.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">WTF?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I made popcorn. But I was so angry I
could barely bring myself to melt butter for the popcorn let alone take the
bowl of popcorn to the kids. I was afraid I might throw the bowl at the
obnoxious friend if she didn't say thank you. Which I already knew she wasn’t
going to say. I decided to involve my go-to guy, Cliff. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Cliff dutifully went into the back room
with the popcorn.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Thanks,
dad</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">, said Carly, with a smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Thanks,
dad,</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> said her 4 year old sister, with a grin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The obnoxious friend didn’t say a word.
She reached into the bowl. Grabbed a handful of popcorn. Popped a piece into
her mouth. And dramatically spat it out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">There's
not enough butter!</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> She exclaimed, handing the bowl back to
Cliff. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The whole time this delightful scene was
playing out the obnoxious friend’s eyes remained glued to the TV screen. She didn't
look up to say thanks. Hell, she didn't even say thanks. She didn't look up to
grab the bowl of popcorn. And she didn't look up as she thrust the bowl back at
Cliff demanding more butter. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">OMG.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">
I could <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> believe that a child
would be that rude as a guest in someone else’s home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">It did make me wonder what manners my
children display when they are over at their friends… <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">But this made me feel a little better:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Amy went to a friend’s birthday party at
the weekend. And she came back absolutely disgusted at another friend’s
manners. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Helen
was so rude, mum,</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> Amy commented, clearly horrified at
what she had witnessed. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">She didn't say
please or thank you.</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">And when she
wanted a drink, she just said handed her glass to Emma's mum and said ‘Milk!’
without saying please or thank you and without even looking at Emma’s mum.</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Wow!</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">
I said. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">That </i>was<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> rude.</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I
can't stand listening to rude kids,</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> Amy
replied, sounding remarkably like her own mother. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">As Amy spoke, I smiled a very smug smile
to myself. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">At least one of my kids has
finally grasped the importance of manners, </i>I thought to myself. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">At least I can count on one of my children
maturing into a responsible, polite human being.</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The jury is still out over how my other
kids will turn out. Lance is perhaps the one I should be most concerned about
at the moment. Not because of his manners. That is a battle we are slowly but
surely winning. More because of what he intends to do with his life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We were reading his Hot Wheels books
before bed the other night. After we'd finished one book about Monster Truck
stunts, I asked: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What do you want to be
when you grow up, Lance? A stunt driver, perhaps?</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">To which he replied, with absolutely no
trace of humour, and as if it was the most normal thing in the world: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">No, mum! I’m going to be a horse.</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">He has said the same thing three nights
in a row now. I’m not sure how I’m going to talk him out of that one. So for now, I’ll
concentrate on teaching him his manners. So long as he’s a well-mannered horse
when he grows up, I guess I’ll be ok with it! </span><o:p></o:p></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-76052532781692436812014-11-26T19:03:00.003-08:002014-11-26T19:04:47.391-08:00Nothing like a good rap to get you through a difficult time<div class="MsoNormal">
Amy is still having a hard time coming to terms with our
imminent international move. And I am running out of strategies to try and get
her to snap out of herself. I’ve tried talking to her. I’ve tried reassuring
her. I’ve sent her to the school counselor. We’ve found pen pals in her new
school for her. I’ve resorted to snapping at her with the hope that she’ll get
over herself. And nothing, nothing I’ve tried, seems to work for more than a
couple of days. While everyone else in the family is bravely contemplating
their new lives on a new continent, Amy seems to be stuck, unable to move
forward.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Finally, last night, over dinner, sat across from a moping
face, I had no choice but to pull out my trump card, the one I’d been keeping
for desperate times:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You just need a theme song,” I said.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Amy looked at me like I had just grown a third eye in the
middle of my forehead.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What are you talking about?” she asked. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You need a song,” I paused. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Should I let my daughter in on how crazy her mother really is?</i> “You
know, to get you through this move.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Silence.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Dad and I have a song,” I continued.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Amy sat up a bit. Intrigued. Carly looked at me expectantly.
Lance stopped shoveling pasta in his mouth with his hands and stared over.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“If our life was a movie,” I explained. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Yeah, right, as if there’d be a movie about a stay-at-home mum living
in Vancouver. </i>“And it came to this bit of our story, the bit where we
decide to move to Australia, this is what they would play…”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Right on cue, Cliff passed ‘Play’ on Grooveshark, and our
song came on. The beat first, slow, building up speed and volume, and then
Eminem’s harsh voice:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana;">Look, if you had one shot, or
one opportunity<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana;">To seize everything you ever
wanted. one moment<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana;">Would you capture it or just
let it slip?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All four of our kids looked at us as if we were completely
bonkers. Perhaps we are. What business do white, middle class, educated, forty-somethings
have trying to impersonate a rapper like Eminem? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
None really. But this song, it’s called ‘Lose Yourself’,
contains some very powerful lyrics that are incredibly poignant to the
challenges that our family are facing right now. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For example: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana;">... the moment<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana;">You own it, you better never
let it go<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana;">You only get one shot, do not
miss your chance to blow<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana;">This
opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Obviously we’re not in a dire situation like Eninem was when
he wrote the song (ie troubled youth (having problems with his mother, his
girlfriend, his baby daughter) trying to make it as a white rapper in a
predominantly black scene). Somehow successful, happily married professor relocating to Melbourne with his family doesn’t quite
have the same ring about it, does it? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And obviously if a movie was ever made of our lives, this song
could never be used in the moving-to-Australia scene because Eminem already
used it himself in the movie about his life. I know: how selfish of him!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I swear, and I really don’t care if you think I’m crazy or not,
every time I hear this song, I think about what we are doing and why we are
doing it, and I can hear Eminem telling us to go for it: I always thought I’d be settled
at this point in my life. I don’t want to move again. I don’t want to start
over. And I really don’t want to force my kids to start over. But we don’t have a
choice. We made a decision to move to Vancouver and it didn’t work out. I don’t
want to make the same mistakes when we move again. This next move has to be our
last one, at least until the kids have left home. Which is why this move to
Melbourne, feels like it is our one chance, our one opportunity to get it
right. Yo!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can already picture the scene… Lose Yourself blaring out
over the terminal speakers as the Clay family struts through customs and makes
our grand entrance into Australia and the next phase of our life…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Oops! Did I just say that out loud?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Anyway, my point is that music is powerful. It’s inspiring. It’s
uplifting. And there is nothing that a good tune can’t do to get you through a
tricky situation. So now, all we have to do is find Amy a good song to sing
when she gets off that plane in Melbourne in January. And no, she can’t have ‘Lose
Yourself’, that’s mine and Cliff’s song… although, I’m guessing Eminem might
have something to say about that! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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And in case you are wondering, the kids have been looking at Cliff and I as if we are weirdos every since we confessed that we have a theme song for our move to Australia. </div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-16522404352859447712014-11-24T14:34:00.001-08:002014-11-24T14:34:20.847-08:00Wistful in Whistler<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">It was our open house this weekend.
We've been working hard for two whole weeks trying to make our "lived
in" home (realtor’s words, not mine: and yes, I wanted to slap the smarmy
smile off his face the first time he said it, not to mention every time I've
thought about him saying it since) look a bit less cluttered and a bit more
appealing to your average Vancouver homebuyer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">By some small miracle, we pulled it off.
And disappeared up to Whistler for the weekend ensuring that no one (ie the
children) in our family could make our house look “lived in” again before it
was displayed to the world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Our weekend in Whistler was a huge hit
with the kids. As Amy said (as we sat in the brew pub on Saturday night tucking
into a much deserved sticky toffee pudding), “It's so much fun going away for
no reason.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Yes, I know my blog makes it sound like
we are constantly gallivanting around the world, traveling somewhere exotic.
But the truth is, there's always a reason for it. Visiting family.
Visiting friends. Checking out new cities we might move to. We never just go
anywhere for the sake of it. Because we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">want</i>
to get away. For fun. But that's exactly what we did this weekend. Just our
family. No one else to accommodate. We could just jolly well please ourselves. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">And so we did. We took the gondola up to
the top of the snow peaked mountain. Frolicked in the snow while wistfully
watching the skiers and snowboarders whizzing down the slopes. Spent the
afternoon wandering round the gift shops in the village trying to find the
perfect souvenir to display in our new home in Australia that would remind us
of our old life in Canada. Relaxed in the outdoor hot tub at the hotel even
though it was so cold you could see the air in front of you as you breathed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The whole time we were frolicking and
wandering and relaxing, I couldn’t quite shake this overwhelming feeling of
nostalgia, wistfulness for a life that now would never come to pass.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We came up to Whistler shortly after we
moved to Vancouver, six years ago now. We were full of hope then. Cliff had just
landed his first proper job as a professor, in a city that we had always wanted
to live in. A city with so much potential, we had thought. Vancouver had
everything. The ocean. The mountains. The city. Our kids would grow up with every
opportunity open to them. They could learn how to sail or kayak in the ocean,
ski or mountain bike in the mountains, and enjoy ballets and theatre and opera
in the city. We thought we had it all: we’d found the perfect city to raise our
children. Not only that we had been blessed with two beautiful girls. My cancer
diagnosis was a year behind us. And it looked like my dream of finally starting
to write a novel might actually become a reality. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I remember, as clear as if it was
yesterday, standing at the top of Blackcomb Mountain with Cliff, Amy and Carly.
We stood in front of the giant Inukshuk and posed for a photo. Gazing down at
that incredible view afforded from the top of the mountain, taking in the blue
lakes and the expanse of fir trees. Not quite believing that mountains could
really be as humongous as the ones surrounding us. The view was so quintessentially
Canadian. From the fir trees to the glacier lakes to the majestic mountains to
the giant stone Inukshuk. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">And I couldn't believe my luck. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Our</i> luck. That we had managed to pull
this off. Living in the city of our choice with two beautiful girls and our
whole lives ahead of us. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Living the dream!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Six years on, and we stand in exactly the
same spot. I think back to that day and remember how I felt. So full of hope.
So excited for our future. So blessed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I gaze at a family skiing down the slope
below the Inukshuk. The dad is up ahead. Three kids are trailing behind like
ducklings. The mum is bringing up the rear. And I can't help it. I'm overcome
by an all-consuming wistfulness. Sadness. Regret. Our lives here should have
been so different. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Skiing was one of the things we were
going to do as a family in Vancouver. Even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I</i>
was going to learn how to ski. But we couldn't afford it. The skis. The
lessons. The passes. They were just too expensive. And so that opportunity,
like so many others, passed us by. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">There was so much I wanted to see in Canada.
I wanted to hike in the wilderness. I wanted to gasp in awe at the scenery. I
wanted to see a moose. I wanted to hear a wolf howl in the dead of the night. I
wanted to take the kids to Saskatchewan, to the birthplace of their dad and
grandparents. There was so much I wanted to do. But we never had the time or
opportunity or money to do it. And now we are moving on… <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">As I gaze around at the breathtaking
view around me, I can't help but wish that things had turned out differently. I
wish that we didn't have to move on. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We pose for a photo in front of the Inukshuk
again. The same adults. A bit older. A bit wiser. A bit more world-weary. Our
little two are the same age as the big two were when we posed here the first
time round. It's hard to believe that we've added two more people to our family
since then. It’s hard to believe that we’ve been through so much, tried so hard
to make it work here, and yet we are still forced to move on. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">When we stood here six years ago. I
didn't know what the Inukshuk symbolized. I thought it was a cool piece of
native art, but had no idea of its symbolism. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYZvKyQbjVQdHvyBJUnLiSy2Nc_x-JMIj3oyQOpNG-a35bIeyLnRn2UwEOfjLShI-kGFKgq3wITQpWidWwf3cOKebeZAMtYjG1yyGqNTBO19MHcTiVvikTAOeBAGZqhxTzuRusdmJxS3pB/s1600/inukshuk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYZvKyQbjVQdHvyBJUnLiSy2Nc_x-JMIj3oyQOpNG-a35bIeyLnRn2UwEOfjLShI-kGFKgq3wITQpWidWwf3cOKebeZAMtYjG1yyGqNTBO19MHcTiVvikTAOeBAGZqhxTzuRusdmJxS3pB/s1600/inukshuk.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">This time round this seemingly simple
piece of art makes a poignantly perfect backdrop for this photo. Because you
see, Inukshuks were originally created by the Inuit people as markers.
Inukshuks were there to remind a traveller that they were on the right path. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Our time in Vancouver has not been easy.
We've grown up a lot. Learnt that living under the constant weight of debt is
no way to live. Learnt that sometimes you just have to cut your losses and get
out while you still have the chance. Learnt that re-shaping your lives at the
age of forty takes guts and courage that not everyone understands. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">And so here we are, moving on from
Canada. Not because we want to. But because we have no other choice. This is
our path. This is our destiny. I look at my kids making snow angels in the
deep, brilliantly white snow in front of the Inukshuk, listen to them giggle as
Cliff launches snowballs in their direction. And although I can’t shake my contemplative
mood, at least now I feel a little more hopeful. A little less daunted by the
path that lies ahead. Our journey in Canada may be almost over but we are still
on the right path. It just took the giant Inukshuk in Whistler to remind me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-79972252113670549912014-11-18T17:17:00.000-08:002014-11-18T17:27:08.404-08:00Feed the cat!<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I haven't written for a while. I want
to. Desperately. There is so much going on with our upcoming move to Australia
that I want to capture every moment. The highs. The lows. And all the fricking
work and minutia an international move entails. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">But, unfortunately, there aren't enough
hours in the day. I am so busy organizing our lives that I haven't managed to organize
a single thought or memory associated with the chaotic state that our lives are
in right now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">A week ago, for example, a ‘For Sale’
sign went up in front of our house. Well, I say in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">front </i>of our house but what I actually mean is that it was wedged
into our massive cedar hedge, the hedge that is not only threatening to take
over the entrance to our house, but also half the sidewalk as well, and as a
result of the sheer ‘bushiness’ of said hedge, the sign cannot actually be seen
unless you are entering our property.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFtqKrYue3npkhIbNLiwU87L3bTOFr1L8dcxzDDJ6v4T_7PznAbM7XGXubxy4bvnPXVDpWfJhfxOpPC07uZIStY_8NVDP1iiTH82zXWciKSiZa8RnoGZLLfeLSLMIBsW8AbJF1DZplSatj/s1600/forsale.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFtqKrYue3npkhIbNLiwU87L3bTOFr1L8dcxzDDJ6v4T_7PznAbM7XGXubxy4bvnPXVDpWfJhfxOpPC07uZIStY_8NVDP1iiTH82zXWciKSiZa8RnoGZLLfeLSLMIBsW8AbJF1DZplSatj/s1600/forsale.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">To be honest, I'm not actually sure what the purpose of a barely visible 'For Sale' sign was, other than the fact that as the sign went
up, the reality of what we were doing began to sink in. And with it the
unavoidable actuality of what we were going to have to pull off in the next ten
days to get our house looking presentable for our first (and hopefully last)
Open House. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Obviously, what with four kids and
family and friends who are overly generous at birthdays and Christmas, we are
drowning in books and toys. Little Critters cluttering up the front room.
Intricate train tracks occupying most of the floor space in the back room.
Piles of books scattered by the rocking chair on the upstairs landing. Half
written stories and half drawn pictures cascading over the desks and onto the
floor in Amy and Carly's room. My Little Ponies lining up with military
precision in the doorway to Lola and Lance’s room. When you step foot in our
house, you are taking your life into your own hands. Making your way across
each room is like navigating your way through a minefield… Inevitably you will
be taken down by stepping with the full force of your weight on the sharp edge
of a small piece of Lego. Or wiping out as you make contact with a perfectly
positioned car or train. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Since we were trying to attract potential
home buyers to invest in our house, the books and the toys were the first things that needed to go.
Packed into boxes. Or spirited away into charity bins or over-sized, black,
plastic trash bags when certain children weren't looking. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Of course, the toys were just the tip of
the iceberg. There was the small matter of erasing all the pencil scribbles on
the basement walls. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“I wonder who wrote this?” I asked out
loud as I began Magically Erasing a collection of letters that spelt out the
name ‘Lola’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“It wasn’t me!” insisted Lola.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“So, why does it spell your name?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Maybe Lance did it!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">We both looked over at Lance, bombing
around the room on a Swiffer stick, and laughed. Lance has absolutely no
interest in practicing his letters. Especially in pink crayon. Even if it is on
the basement wall.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">There were other jobs too. Cleaning the
windows. Sorting out the garden. Power washing the deck. Emptying boxes filled
with bills and letters from four years ago. Throwing all those pairs of jeans
that I was never going to fit into again out of the wardrobe. In short, we were
faced with a never-ending list of jobs to do that we had happily ignored for
the four years that we have been in this house. And only ten days in which to do it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Eventually we resorted to the telly as a
baby-sitting tool. Not to mention that lifesaver, the iPad. We had to find
something to occupy the kids while we tried to clear away four years of
clutter. Evidently the toys we had left out for the kids, ie the toys with the
least chance of making a mess were also the least fun to play with. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">A week into our marathon clean up
session and everyone had had enough. I don’t like inhibiting the kids’
imaginative play by limiting their access to toys and art supplies. But with
the Open House looming I didn’t have much choice. Not only that I usually spend
a lot of time interacting with the kids, not leaving them to their own devices
on Barbie websites and Smurf games on iPads. Judging by the way Lola was
stomping around and Lance was crying at the drop of a hat, the little ones
needed their parents to stop charging around the house, Magic Erasers and
Windex in hand, and pay them some attention.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Unfortunately there was still so much to
do. And that’s where my wonderful 10 year old daughter enters this story.
Yesterday, after school, she took everyone downstairs into the basement to play
school. When Amy plays school the kids actually learn something. She prints off
fact sheets about dinosaurs. Or encourages them to create Monet pieces with
pastels and tissue paper. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Yesterday, when Amy led everyone downstairs, they were all very happy. And occupied. For a
while. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">But as I started to make dinner, the shouting and fussing and crying and arguing from the basement was getting harder to ignore. My son’s name
seemed to be the common denominator in the fighting, and as I peeled the spuds
for dinner I could just imagine Lance winding everyone up. Stealing his sisters' pens. Riding his
cars over hands and feet of pupils trying to listen to their teacher. The last
thing I wanted was to stop what I was doing, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">again</b>, just to sort out another avoidable dispute between siblings.
I knew I would shout. I knew I would make things worse. So I carried on peeling
potatoes instead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Miraculously, the shouting stopped. And
the bickering. Indeed it became so quiet that I began to wonder whether one of
my children was silently being throttled by another one of my children. I went
to the top of the basement stairs, potato peeler in hand, just in case.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I could hear girly giggling coming from
the playroom. Meanwhile my son was crawling up the basement stairs towards me.
On all fours. Like a dog. Or a cat. I never know which he is supposed to be.
Today, however, I did. Because attached to his t-shirt, on his back was a Sticky-Note. With a
message:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdDnicDKHWV80AERz4eAxqZhZBmvOBVaNtordenLl8PV_txgWN4FksvfEE9SMqO1DSMzVL7Q2Gd8T53uYJL7eVnthd8p1CKVJMcUMxuhucKyYYyHZ2iuRPeOsN1igOG3vylLPMGSoalF3k/s1600/feedthecat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdDnicDKHWV80AERz4eAxqZhZBmvOBVaNtordenLl8PV_txgWN4FksvfEE9SMqO1DSMzVL7Q2Gd8T53uYJL7eVnthd8p1CKVJMcUMxuhucKyYYyHZ2iuRPeOsN1igOG3vylLPMGSoalF3k/s1600/feedthecat.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">How I laughed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Carly, who I have to say is usually at
the bottom of sibling quarrels, had somehow managed to resolve the problem of
an annoying brother, by convincing him to go and find mum! And all that was
left for me to do was feed him!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Let’s hope the little problem of selling
a house before moving to a new country is as easily resolved. I cannot take
much more of this cleaning and organizing! I just want the Open House to be
over already so we can go back to our happy, messy existence, albeit less
cluttered than before.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-90397072509005612212014-11-06T22:57:00.001-08:002014-11-06T22:57:19.008-08:00Conversations about marriage<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Yesterday I went to pick Lola up from preschool.
It was a Pro-D day, which meant that the older girls weren't in school either,
so I had the whole gang with me. Amy, Carly and Lance started playing in the
park while we waited for Lola’s class to finish. One of the preschool dad's
called over. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“How many daughters do you have?” he asked in
disbelief. Normally it's just Lance and I picking Lola up. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“Three,” I said. With a sense of pride. Always with
a sense of pride. I can't help it. These children are the best things that have
ever happened to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“Man,” he laughed. “He's going to be the luckiest
guy when he grows up.” We both looked over to witness my son being mollycoddled
by his two older sisters. “He's actually going to know how to talk to women.”
He shook his head. “Women are going to love him!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">I laughed. “He's also going to bug his sisters. A
lot. When they are eighteen and their hot friends come over, and he's their
spotty, geeky teenaged brother hanging around, trying to flirt with them.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Although this preschool dad seemed to think that
Lance was the luckiest boy alive, Lance clearly has no idea. After I read him
his bedtime stories last night and was leaving his room playing our 'I love you
more game' he told me what he thought about marriage. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“I love you more than Spider-Man,” he called. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“I love you more than lemon meringue pie,” I
replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“I love you more than sharks,” came his response.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“I love you more than... urm…” I was racking my
brain for something funny to say to make him laugh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“Mum,” he interrupted. “I'm not going to get
married.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“Oh,” I said. “Why...”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“And I'm going to buy my kids from the store,” he
added thoughtfully. “One hundred and fifty kids.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Before I could ask which store he intended to buy
his kids from he continued, “’Night mum! I love you more than Finn McMissile!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">I suspect that while growing up in a female
dominated family may seem like heaven to some males, to the boys <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">actually</i> growing up surrounded by
girls/women it is more like hell. And in his mind my 3 year old son, has
already decided to skip the hard part (keeping a future wife happy) and move on
to the comparatively easy part (raising store bought children).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Lance’s ‘advantage’ is that he already knows what
girls/women are really like. Girls are crazy. Emotional. They laugh. They cry.
They shout. They giggle. They get mad over the smallest things (like learning
their three times tables) but don't react at all to major developments (like moving
to a new school in a new country). Those examples are courtesy of my second
born, Carly, by the way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Girls are complex and exhausting and a lot of
hard work despite all the love you receive in return. At least that sums up the
girls in our family. No wonder my son doesn't want the hassle of voluntarily
bringing <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">anothe</i>r female into this
life by marrying one, and having to deal with her on top of dealing with his
three opinionated sisters and his mum (who is not opinionated at all – ha!). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Carly might have also put her little brother off
the notion of marriage. While walking along the pier in St Kilda (in Melbourne)
last month, she categorically stated what she expected from her husband to be. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">1. He has to shave his armpits. This was the
first and foremost requirement on her list. If he didn't shave his armpits then
he didn't have a hope. I have never met a man who does shave his armpits, so I
guess if she ever meets someone who does we know it's the real deal. Either
that or he's a woman trapped in a man’s body… <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">2. He has to be able to tango. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">3. Surfer blonde hair is a must (thank goodness
we’re moving to Aus). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">4. He must keep her in the manner in which she is
accustomed, which roughly translates, as he must buy her a mansion and a
limousine. I have no idea how I managed to produce such a materialistic
daughter but hey, if it means trips to the mall with my grown up daughter in
her limousine in my old age, I'm sure I'll be able to handle it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Not to be outdone, last night Amy also gave her
views about marriage. We were watching Men in Black 2, when Cliff came into the
living room and plonked himself down into the armchair with a cup of tea in one
hand and four mini boxes of Smarties in the other. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“What yer drinking?” I asked. Mainly to wind him
up. I never drink tea after 5 pm. I’m worried it will keep me up all night. But
he still might have asked...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“Tea,” he replied. Then he noticed the stony expression
on my face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“Good job, I didn't want one,” I said a little
snottily, before he could offer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Only slightly perturbed, Cliff opened a box of Smarties.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Amy noticed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“Aren’t you going to share?” she asked, a little
snottily. Perhaps she’s been watching her mother too much.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Cliff looked stunned as Amy turned to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“When I saw dad had four boxes of Smarties, I
thought he had brought a box for each of us,” she said. “But apparently, not!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">I looked at her and laughed. “That’s men for
you!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“Maybe I won't get married,” she sighed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“Men <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">are</i>
a lot of work,” I agreed looking pointedly at Cliff. Nothing like your wife and
daughters ganging up on you while you're trying to enjoy a cup of tea and some
Halloween candy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“Although…” Amy paused, while she agonized over
the pros and cons of having a man in your life. “…Maybe I'll marry someone if
he's not afraid of spiders. It might be useful to have a husband who can get
rid of them for you.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">On the bright side, Amy is definitely exhibiting
a more practical point of view when contemplating marriage.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">And as for Lola, well, I have yet to figure out
how Lola feels about marriage. Whenever I ask her, she conveniently fails to
mention her future husband and goes straight to what’s on her mind: dogs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">At the moment she’s obsessed with dogs. We have
to stop and stare at any dog we see while wandering around the neighbourhood.
We have to discuss at great length what kind of dog we will get when we move to
Aus. When she talks about whom she’s going to miss when we leave Vancouver,
it’s not her friends that she lists, but rather their pet dogs. And whenever
I’m in the kitchen trying to make dinner, she is constantly under my feet on
all fours, making high-pitched yapping sounds, pretending to be a puppy. If she
carries on like this, she may just bypass marriage completely, and become a
crazy dog lady instead. Only time will tell… </span><span style="font-family: "Avenir Book";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdCb_Ovaz0hfVsZHrkJN37-Oa7tOBZYDM3oxclakQeyyarrRzs9Aoe2Z5jvr2gqxG2YZjL_g2n_wnFQCmBBkmBrVVK4wOPgEm7q0DhVhd9m1EuoyyXdF46oDqvFsJymoV83Oajc5yV5A_b/s1600/bride.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdCb_Ovaz0hfVsZHrkJN37-Oa7tOBZYDM3oxclakQeyyarrRzs9Aoe2Z5jvr2gqxG2YZjL_g2n_wnFQCmBBkmBrVVK4wOPgEm7q0DhVhd9m1EuoyyXdF46oDqvFsJymoV83Oajc5yV5A_b/s1600/bride.JPG" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;"><br /></span></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-26253780043999149212014-11-04T22:42:00.002-08:002014-11-04T22:48:48.807-08:00Blame it on the... fishnets<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">It's one in the morning. And I'm wide awake. I
suspect Cliff is too. And Carly. We’re all squished into our double bed. Cliff
is on one end, hanging on for dear life. I'm on the other. And Carly is
sandwiched in between us. Although I can sense that she is slowly edging
towards me. Her hand is clutching my arm and she's threatening to move her
sweaty, little body into the small of my back… <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">If there's one thing I can't stand, it's people invading
my personal space when I'm trying to sleep. I sigh. Turn over. Try, without
much luck, to push Carly in the direction of her dad. And wonder: would this
nightmare even be happening if it weren't for the incomprehensible need for a
40-something year old woman to wear fishnets in public? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Saturday night was our Halloween party. We've had
one every year since we moved to Vancouver. It started off with an afternoon
party: a bunch of preschoolers decorating cupcakes and Halloween themed
cookies. The strongest thing anyone would drink was caffeinated coffee, and
everyone left after the pizza. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Over the years, the kids have gotten bigger, and
our parties have grown wilder. There are games and activities for the kids in
the basement. Leaving the parents free to get pissed upstairs. At some point,
when it is dark enough outside, there is a candy hunt by candlelight in the
back yard. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">There was a time when I wouldn’t get dressed up
for Halloween. But those days are over! This year Cliff and I even branched out
into the world of couple costumes. I was Little Red Riding Hood and Cliff was
the Big Bad Wolf. And that's where the problems began. You see; I didn't want
to be just any old regular Little Red Riding Hood. I wanted to be a sexy one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Perhaps I've been watching too many J-Lo videos. Perhaps
now the kids are out of the baby phase I feel like I can embrace my inner hot
goddess. Perhaps I just don't want to morph into a middle-aged frumpy mum
before my time. I don't know. All I know is this: I don't have the body of a
hot 20 year old anymore but I still want to feel like one. And that's why the
fishnet tights, black leather knee length boots and the little black dress I
wore to a wedding fifteen years ago and which I can still squeeze into (it's
stretchy fabric) came out for the occasion. Of course, I wrapped myself up in a
large, flowy, red cloak to add an air of mystery. Ok, you’ve seen through me, so
that I didn’t feel so exposed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">I wasn't sure if I was actually going to have the
balls to go through with the sexier version of Little Red Riding Hood until
about an hour before the party. My friend Sandra came over early and we got
ready together. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Yes</i>, I was fully
embracing my inner 20 year old by reliving my student years. Sandra's idea. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Sandra was my first British friend in Vancouver.
We met over the Internet (I'm not joking) when we were both new to the city and
trying to make new friends. Don't ever underestimate the power of the Internet.
You <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">can</i> find awesome friends on
there. Sandra and her family are living proof.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">It turns out that Sandra and I both studied in
London. At the same time. We probably even crossed drunken paths at the Student
Union one night, never knowing that we were destined to meet far, far away in
another country, far, far away in a future, which revolved around husbands and
small children. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Anyway, texting with Sandra about costume choices
the night before the party it seemed like the most normal thing in the world to
do with a friend: have a glass of wine, get ready together, egg each other
on to wear something outside our comfort zone, do each other's make up and
generally ignore the screaming children downstairs while pretending that we
were 20 year old students living in London again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Sandra and her gang arrived around four, about an
hour before the party started. We snuck off upstairs with a bottle of Sauvignon
Blanc, and got to work right away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Sandra and I piled into the bathroom and began
applying make up, fixing hair and contemplating the pros and cons of wearing
short dresses, fishnet tights and knee length boots to a family party. With
every glass of wine, I became more daring and Sandra became more complimentary.
Such that by the time I staggered downstairs, three glasses of wine, later, my
hair was in saucy pigtails, my lips were blood red from some old dance make up
I had found knocking around in the back of the bathroom cabinet, and the
fishnets and knee length boots were on! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Now for the moment of truth: hot wife or
inappropriately dressed mother of four? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Amy took one look at me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“You look sexy,” she said. She’s never seen me
wearing make up before. She’s never seen me in fishnet tights and knee length
boots. She’s never known me disappear off with a friend to get ready for a
night out. She’s never seen dad ogle me the way he does when I come downstairs.
And she’s never seen me giggling away like a schoolgirl after three glasses of
wine on an empty stomach before our guests have even arrived. No wonder she’s
looking at me like I’m an alien who’s taken over her mother’s body.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Guests start trickling in. Every time I turn
round Cliff has replenished my glass of wine (obviously he’s hoping to get
lucky tonight). Slowly I relax. And decide I am absolutely fabulous and
undeniably hot stuff. After that the party is pretty much a blur…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpgOU_6p7g6Iisxe_B4sEC4Bs0i6-Z5eWIV5HHJWoMTOwMSb04K1zj5NnieMNa_6xKzHOOo6Mwgrk_utvEZ-gHmTPURvxJkiBIhwR837vzMbK7CVTCPNVTYZVW9hE6V2Q1l3bAczyVibX3/s1600/red-riding-hood.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpgOU_6p7g6Iisxe_B4sEC4Bs0i6-Z5eWIV5HHJWoMTOwMSb04K1zj5NnieMNa_6xKzHOOo6Mwgrk_utvEZ-gHmTPURvxJkiBIhwR837vzMbK7CVTCPNVTYZVW9hE6V2Q1l3bAczyVibX3/s1600/red-riding-hood.jpg" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">The next morning I don’t feel so hot. My head is
pounding. My mouth feels dry. And I can’t get back to sleep because disturbing
images from the night before flash intermittently through my mind. The blurry,
surreal memory of a raccoon appearing at the bottom of the garden path as I
waved a drunken goodbye to a friend. The cringe-inducing recollection that the
more I drunk the more I felt the need to emphasize every un-politically correct
statement I uttered with the F word. And then there was the epic Wii dance battle
with my husband. That Power was the song of choice. I was Justin Bieber
(obviously: now that I am Canadian I embrace all things that are Canadian. Even
Justin Bieber) and my good husband was Will.i.am (not so obviously: indeed I have
absolutely no idea why). The red, velvet cloak that was supposed to protect my
modesty (ie ensure that I didn’t look like a tramp) was ditched. The knee
length boots were kicked off. And I was dancing my ass off to the chants of
“Claire! Claire!” from my girl power friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">The dance-off was close. Very close. And Cliff
did have the edge… until I (allegedly) elbowed him in his ribs, causing him to stagger
backwards and topple onto my 3 year old son who had fallen asleep on the couch in
the middle of all that chaos. I didn’t have time to register my husband
teetering dangerously over my passed out son. Nor did I have time to
acknowledge that I had completely neglected my motherly duties by failing to
get my boy into his bed <i>before</i> he passed out. I had only one thought on my mind. And as Cliff slowly
regained his balance, as the last notes of the song faded away, that thought
became a reality: I was the winner! I was victorious. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">The next morning I was anything but victorious. I
stumbled downstairs. And managed to swig back a cup of luke-warm tea while
curling up in a fetal position on the couch. Instead of perking me up, the tea
sloshed dangerously around my empty stomach. I felt so rough I had to go back
to bed (the shame) with the big silver bowl just in case (even bigger shame). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Cliff (bless him) let me be. The kids were happy
to sit in their jimmy-jams all day. And watch movies. Cliff was happy to follow
the football games on the computer. Sounds like a win-win situation, right? Mum
sleeping off her hangover upstairs while the kids watch telly and dad watches his
sports.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">That’s what I thought as I eventually surfaced
out of bed (almost guilt-free) at 11.30 am and resolved to stay on the couch
all day in my pajamas. Of course, all I wanted was to be left alone, so I paid
no mind to what the kids were actually watching…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Which is why it came as somewhat of a surprise
when our bedroom door flung open at midnight and Carly came whimpering into our
bed, scared shitless about shutting her eyes because she'd spent a good part of
the day watching Coraline. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">That was an hour ago. And here we still are.
Cliff on one side of the bed, me on the other, and our trembling 8 year old
daughter wedged in the middle. We’re all wide awake. And it’s one in the
morning. There’s not a hope that anyone is going to fall asleep any time soon. It's
going to be a long night. I can feel it. And as my daughter wraps herself
around me, I can't help but wonder, would any of this nightmare be happening if
I hadn’t gone all J-Lo and decided to be someone hot for the party? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Why, oh why, had I felt the urge to wear fishnets
out in public for the very first time at the age of 43? Why, oh why, had it
taken a bottle of wine on an empty stomach for me just to have the confidence
to swan around in said fishnets in a J-Lo-esque kind of way? Why, oh why, as I
gleefully poured each new glass of wine hadn’t I thought about the consequences
of waking up the next morning with a stinking hangover and four over-tired
children to entertain? Why, oh why, had a marathon of creepy movies seemed like
the perfect solution to coping with children while hungover?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">I’ll tell you why. I spent most of the night embracing
my inner 20 year old, and the last thing on my mind when I was twenty was
having to take care of four kids after a long night of heavy partying. Let’s
say, in retrospect, perhaps I embraced my inner 20 year old just a wee bit too
much. Maybe next time we party, I’ll aim for my inner 30 year old… make that my
inner 35 year old… and next time I’ll avoid wearing fishnet tights at all
costs!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-31391344908503922602014-10-30T18:48:00.000-07:002014-10-30T18:48:10.645-07:00Eat your heart out, Mrs Eaton!<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Mrs
Eaton was my home economics teacher when I was in high school. And she took an
instant dislike to me, which had <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">absolutely</i>
nothing to do with Susan Lawson and I killing ourselves laughing during one of
her cookery classes. It was <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">not</b> our
fault that we had to drag our stools round the teachers’ work area while she
demonstrated how to bake fairy cakes. Nor was it our fault that she was very
theatrical about the whole procedure, especially when it came to prodding the
buns lightly with her middle finger when they came out of the oven to see if
they were done. I tried. Susan Lawson tried. Honestly we both tried. Not to
laugh. But our eyes met for a split second over those fairy cakes. Naturally I
spluttered, Susan Lawson spluttered, and although we both looked down at our
feet to hide the smirks erupting across our faces, we were unable to stop the
shaking of our shoulders as we tried to suppress those giggles. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Mrs Eaton
was not impressed. Tight lipped and unamused, she made sure that Susan Lawson
and I never sat next to each other in her cookery class again. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Two years
later, about six months after my mum had passed away, and I found myself back
in Mrs Eaton’s class. Needlework this time. Oh, how I hated needlework. I
loved sewing by hand. I used to design outfit after outfit for my Sindy doll as
a child, and loved every creation I pulled off. But using a sewing machine.
Well, that was a whole other kettle of fish. There was just so much to
remember, and so many things that could go wrong: winding the bobbin, trying to
thread the needle, controlling the foot pedal and speed of the bloody machine
while trying to guide the fabric through so that the stitching wasn’t wonky. It
was just too much! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">And of
course, Mrs Eaton decided that this term we would be making </span><span style="font-size: 17px;">something</span><span style="font-size: 13pt;"> simple. Like gym skirts. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">It took
less than five minutes into the first lesson to realize that she had never
forgotten nor was she ever going to forgive the giggling-at-her-fairy-cakes
incident. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Half way
through the term, she made a beeline for me. And the hems I had somehow managed
to sew in almost a straight line on my mum’s old sewing machine the night
before.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">She took
one look at them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">“Did you do
these hems?” she asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">“Yes,
Miss,” I replied. “Last night.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">She picked
the skirt up, and wrinkled her nose as she inspected my hem closer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">“I bet you
didn’t do them yourself,” she glowered. “I bet you got your mother to do them
for you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Something
inside me snapped. I may have been fourteen. I may have been in a strict
comprehensive school where it was suicide to argue back to a teacher. But I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">am</i> my mother’s daughter. And I will <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> tolerate being bullied. Especially
by a five foot two inch home economics teacher. I had two options. Argue back
and insist that I had sewn the hems myself, and risk getting sent out of the
classroom. Or something worse, something that would make her wish she had never
picked on me at all… <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">I started
to whimper. And buried my head in my hands. (Mrs Eaton was not the only one
who knew how to be theatrical!) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">“My… mum’s…”
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">The
classroom went deadly silent. All fifteen girls in my class were as still as
statues because they already knew that I was going to mention what had, for the past six months, being the unmentionable. An awkward uneasy tension filled the air.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">“…dead.” I declared
dramatically.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">‘I… I…” Mrs
Eaton started to sputter. I had her. By the short and curlies. There was
absolutely nothing she could do or say to get out of that one. She had well and
truly put her foot in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Mrs Eaton
left me alone after that. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">And I
learnt a valuable lesson. This was the first time I had ever used my mother’s
death to my advantage, and I made sure it was the last. It didn’t feel good to
use my mum like that so I never did it again. But when I think back to that
day, and think about how awful that teacher must have felt, I can’t help but
smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">***<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">The
following year, I was in my fourth year of high school, so never had to take a
home economics class again. Indeed I haven’t even so much as looked at a sewing
machine since then. But last Halloween, I designed and made both Amy and
Carly’s Halloween costumes. Amy was Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas,
and Carly was Bug Girl. I made the costumes from scratch, without a pattern,
and by hand. I was extremely chuffed with myself afterwards.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">For
Christmas I got a brand new sewing machine. I was too scared to even take it
out of its box. And my brain turned to mush at the thought of reading the
instruction manual. I swear it wouldn’t have made it out of its packaging at
all if it hadn’t been for Cliff’s mum, who was staying with us over Christmas and
who used to sew the most elaborate costumes for Cliff and his brother when they
were little. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Anyway, my
mother-in-law very kindly set up my machine for me, wound the thread onto the
bobbin, threaded the needle and tried to explain about fabric tensions and
stitch sizes. The influx of information coming my way was enough to send that sewing
machine packing, back into the closet, gathering dust until I found a time to
figure it out for myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">What can I
say? I am a stay-at-home mum to four kids. There is never a good time for me to
figure anything out. Before I knew it, Halloween was descending upon us again,
and my daughters had yet again decided to be characters whose costumes were not
available in the local Halloween store. Heck. We even drove down to the States
for the day so we could find something suitable down there. We came back
empty-handed, and heavy-hearted. Especially me. I knew it was only a matter of
time before my sewing machine was going to be hauled out of its hiding place,
and I was going to be forced to face one of my darkest fears.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">This is the
part of my blog post where I might come off as bragging. If you were being
cynical, you might even say that the only reason why I wrote this blog post was
to brag. And quite frankly, you can say what you like. I don’t care. I am so
fricking proud of myself. Because ladies and gentleman, this is what I managed
to pull off in one day (once I’d figured out how to get the machine running
again):<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBHoEPH3YVZKxYgtzOJ-zJjAItl9T0rPcwmnlkcXuJ0ewxOOoYZlu6L2pCA_DjW60QzuES7lF7yy9J3PCbDJpXdynejzfnOud3WxN2Gw8D5CCNLJO1aFhrPel_pbj0g61kHolC5hlgd2tJ/s1600/ursula.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBHoEPH3YVZKxYgtzOJ-zJjAItl9T0rPcwmnlkcXuJ0ewxOOoYZlu6L2pCA_DjW60QzuES7lF7yy9J3PCbDJpXdynejzfnOud3WxN2Gw8D5CCNLJO1aFhrPel_pbj0g61kHolC5hlgd2tJ/s1600/ursula.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13pt;">An Ursula
costume for my 10 year old daughter. (Ursula is the sea witch (part octopus) from
The Little Mermaid).</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Cliff took
the kids out for an afternoon so that I could figure out how to use the
machine. I squinted and cursed my way through the manual, managed to wind a
bobbin, thread a needle, and somehow get the bloody thing going. And then… just
as I reached for my first octopus tentacle, the door flung open and the kids
raced in. Cliff looked at me apologetically. He’d only been gone half an hour,
not the promised afternoon. But I was so happy to see everyone. Seriously. I
needed an audience for this one. The kids watched almost bubbling over with
excitement as I carefully pushed down on the foot pedal and tentatively guided
my first tentacle through the machine. Five minutes later and I was the proud
creator of one perfectly formed tentacle:<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2B8fDNv8MEf4-PsvRWNDYSJmwHsiURuqeZ0BVo804SBMbMDC82-GBZuukI83aU-kfjMTBusl-RfORInA9H44aoLF4VWdjx0MzQF65SlORGRI5Hh6IQQ5-QfJ5RcmL0_ae3Q-5LaNSOxaL/s1600/tentacle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2B8fDNv8MEf4-PsvRWNDYSJmwHsiURuqeZ0BVo804SBMbMDC82-GBZuukI83aU-kfjMTBusl-RfORInA9H44aoLF4VWdjx0MzQF65SlORGRI5Hh6IQQ5-QfJ5RcmL0_ae3Q-5LaNSOxaL/s1600/tentacle.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">Yes, I </span><span style="font-size: 17px;">realize that there are multiple tentacles on that photo, but I was so happy with my work that I whipped up eight in no time. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">The
following day I whipped up this little beauty: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQlW06En7Cce2t2AO62sa-an3W2NW69ZsWdU2eHLhCRqghAosz88wT1tSs35P86q4_5ykeQ5Xn48CUnfljyt0B0KhfyFYOvnNzULNqCBq8gyqPbloyFQZOlGLXgQP3Oggxl-0PQtRTvJBB/s1600/maleficent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQlW06En7Cce2t2AO62sa-an3W2NW69ZsWdU2eHLhCRqghAosz88wT1tSs35P86q4_5ykeQ5Xn48CUnfljyt0B0KhfyFYOvnNzULNqCBq8gyqPbloyFQZOlGLXgQP3Oggxl-0PQtRTvJBB/s1600/maleficent.jpg" height="320" width="97" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Maleficent
for my 8 year old daughter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">And so all
I can say now is: Eat your heart out, Mrs Eaton. You might have put me off
sewing for thirty years, but not even you could keep me down forever. I have fallen
in love with my sewing machine.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-65225032918416471162014-10-29T21:45:00.001-07:002014-10-29T21:45:37.098-07:00What could be a bigger stress for me right now than moving to Australia?<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">What could be a bigger stress for me right now
than organizing a move to Australia for my family of four kids? Settling my 3 year
old son into preschool perhaps?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">- Nooooooo!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">- Really?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">- Noooooo! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">- No. Really? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Yes! Really. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">If I thought moving my four kids around the world
to live Down Under was going to be tough, it may well be a breeze compared to
what I have to face every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Right now, I am sitting upstairs at my daughter’s
gymnastics class. Having a coffee. Watching my daughter bounce on the
trampoline and fend off the unwanted advances of a 4 year old boy called Malcom
who tries to touch her pigtails every time my daughter bounces past him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">This is my one <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">hour</b> a week I can call my own. Lance is in preschool and Lola is in
gymnastics. I officially have no little children hanging off me. My thoughts
are my own. I can talk to whom I please without someone half my size impatiently
tugging my arm. I can go to the bathroom without having to cram two other
people in the cubicle with me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">I always relished the thought of having an hour
to myself during the day. It felt so decadent to think that I might actually
have some time off child-duty in the middle of the day. But today I feel like
crying. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">I have just left my 3 year old son in the
cloakroom of his preschool, his unhappy face staring up at me pitifully,
willing me to stay. As I kissed him goodbye, my son buried his head into his
coat hanging from its peg in the cloakroom. He doesn’t cry anymore when I
leave, but he doesn’t rush into the classroom either. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">This has been going on for a month. Up until last
week I thought my son was being a suck. All my kids, with the exception of
Carly, were clingy when they first went to school. Remember Lola last year
hiding under the table on her first day of preschool? Well, she's blossomed
into a pretty confident child. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">I thought the same tough love (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Every child has to go to school and you're
no exception!”</i>) would work with Lance as it did with Amy and Lola. And to a
certain extent, it has. He doesn't cry when I leave anymore. But he doesn't
leave the cloakroom either. He's resigned himself to spending five hours a week
in the cloakroom of his classroom instead of participating <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">inside</i> the classroom with his classmates. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">I've gone through a whole range of emotions in
the past month. He's a suck. He's stubborn. He's too attached to me (that was
the week his dad took him). He'll get over it. But last week it began to occur
to me that perhaps he wouldn’t get over it. Perhaps there's more to this than
meets the eye. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Last week was Diwali. One of my mummy friends
went into my son’s classroom that day to supervise some Diwali activities. I
quizzed her about my son, and his involvement in the classroom. What she told
me made me start questioning not so much my son’s temperament but how it was
affecting his adaptation to his preschool environment. She told me that there
were a couple of boys charging around the classroom unchecked, being loud and
destroying block towers and Lego buildings created by other children. In
addition, there was a special needs child, with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">very</i> high special needs, who required the full attention of one
teacher. The picture she painted was of a chaotic, noisy classroom: not the
ideal environment for a little boy leaving his mum for the first time. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">As I pictured my son trying to cope in that
environment, my mind instantly flew back to Lance’s first day in preschool. He
was playing in the water table. The special needs child appeared by his side,
pushed him out of the way and snatched at the toys he was playing with, the
whole time making incomprehensible sounds. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Lance immediately looked to me to sort this out.
And I froze. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">If it had been any other child, I would have told
them off then and there for treating my son that way. But this wasn’t any
ordinary child. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. And I was too
embarrassed to approach the special needs child and take back the toy she had
snatched from my son. It would no doubt turn into a bigger scene than it
already was, and I just couldn’t face that. So I drew Lance away from the water
table and acted like the special needs child’s actions weren’t a big deal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Which in retrospect was totally the wrong thing
to do. As far as my son was concerned, he was the injured party and this child
should say sorry. I just did not have the expertise or vocabulary to explain to
my 3 year old son that this child wasn’t being mean or malicious, that she
couldn’t control herself, that this was just the way she was, and so I let it
go. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">An encounter like that coupled with his mother’s
inadequate response would not bolster the confidence of any nervous 3 year old
on his first day of school. But that was over a month ago. Surely Lance should
have moved on by now. That’s what I assumed at least. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">To be honest, I hadn’t been too in tune with the
classroom dynamics until last week. I don’t see the point in prolonging the
inevitable, and so I usually kiss my son goodbye and leave straight away. But
today, at drop off, I went into the classroom with my son to see if there was
any truth in what my friend had told me. I wanted to gauge for myself what was
going on, try to understand why Lance was so reluctant to leave the cloakroom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Lola and I spent twenty minutes with Lance in the
classroom. Lola even gave her little brother her teddy bear to make him feel
loved while we were away. We sat and built a Mr Potato Head with Lance. And right
on cue, one of those out-of-control boys came running past and smashed it. Swiped
it right to the ground. Right in front of me. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">As I sat there.</i> I couldn’t believe my eyes! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">One of the teachers came over when I looked
around for some support. She reprimanded the child. Kind of. But I couldn't
help but think: would she have even noticed if I hadn't been sitting there? And
would she have dealt with this incident if I hadn't been in the classroom? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">As soon as the boy knocked the Potato Head off
the table, Lance disappeared into the cloakroom and hid behind his coat. And that’s
when it dawned on me: perhaps this rowdy behaviour is going on all the time <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">unchecked</i> and that is why Lance refuses
to participate. Perhaps he retreats to the cloakroom because it’s the only
place he feels safe. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">The whole time I have been sitting here in my
free hour, mulling this over, Lola has been swinging around in the gym below,
grinning up at me, happy as anything. Her preschool experience (in exactly the
same preschool) brought her out of her shell: she thrived in that environment.
But somehow this isn’t happening for my son. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">And now I am facing a dilemma. I want Lance’s
preschool experience to be a positive one. I don’t want him to have to fend for
himself because the teachers are too overwhelmed dealing with other children in
the class. I don’t want him to sit in the cloakroom every Tuesday and Thursday
afternoon because that’s the only place he feels safe at preschool. I want him
to be having fun. And if that’s not happening, then perhaps I should rethink
his preschool journey. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Book"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">If we were staying in Vancouver, then I would try
harder to resolve this issue. I’d push for him to attend a different preschool
class or make a huge effort to instigate some play dates to give him the
opportunity to form some friendships. But we are leaving in two months. And
part of me is wondering whether it would be better to cut our losses now, take
Lance out of preschool, give him time to recover from this obviously
unenjoyable experience, and start over again fresh when we arrive in Australia.
I don’t want to give in to a stubborn 3 year old boy who refuses to join in at
school, but then again I don’t want to instill a fear of school in him because
of one bad experience. And so, I find myself, really at a loss here. So much so
that this move to Australia is beginning to look like a breeze compared to all
this preschool drama! Why can’t life be less complicated? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-61377671891150609542014-10-27T22:38:00.000-07:002014-10-27T22:39:16.473-07:00What a difference one small gesture of kindness can make<div class="MsoNormal">
When we went to Melbourne for a week in September, our main
objective was to determine which neighbourhood we should move to when we
eventually settle there. We had an idea before we arrived (I want to live close
to the sea; Cliff wants to be close to work; and neither of us want a huge
fuck-off mortgage like we have in Vancouver), but all our fact finding was
based on whatever Google was spewing out at us in answer to our often badly
phrased questions. What we really needed to do was wander around the
neighbourhoods ourselves and get a feel for the place.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course, the problem with wandering around is that it can become as
pointless as Googling ‘affordable neighbourhoods to live in Melbourne’ unless
you have a specific purpose. In our case, the purpose was to find the perfect
school for our perfect children. If we could find the perfect school, we
reasoned, the 8000 mile move across the globe might not seem as daunting to our
quietly freaking out 10 year old daughter. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We visited several schools while in Melbourne. Each time the
principal took the time to escort us around their school, answer our questions
and show us the classrooms our children could potentially be in should we
choose that school. It was exhausting. Not only were we trying to process an
overload of information about each school, we were also dealing with the stress
of trying to act like a 'normal' family in front of the principal while
simultaneously putting on an upbeat façade for the kids.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By the time we were finishing the tour of the last school,
we were down to just Amy, Carly and I. Cliff was in the school playground with
the two little ones trying to keep their boredom at bay, while the older girls
and I traipsed into the gym after the principal. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was a class in the gym. The teacher hurried over
towards us, a huge, friendly smile lighting up her face. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hi,” she said. “I’m Miss T.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“This family is moving to Melbourne from Vancouver,” said
the principal by way of introduction.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well, you must be going into Year 5,” said Miss T,
addressing Amy with a welcoming smile. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Amy nodded.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“And I teach Year 5,” Miss T continued. “So maybe you’ll be
in my class.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We chatted for a while longer, then headed out of the gym
and back across the playground towards the school office.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Kate! Kate!” gasped a voice.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The principal (Kate) turned to see who was calling her. Amy,
Carly and I watched with interest as Miss T puffed and panted her way across
the playground in an attempt to catch us up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’ve just had an idea,” Miss T wheezed when she finally reached us, evidently trying to catch her
breath. She looked at Amy. “How would you feel about becoming pen pals with a
couple of the girls from the school before you arrive here? It might be nice to
feel like you know someone before you actually show up!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Amy, Carly and I all looked at her in disbelief. Who was
this kind lady sprinting across the playground towards children she had only
just met offering to help them fit into the school before they’d even arrived? What a kind and thoughtful thing to do.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That would be awesome!” Amy gushed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Wonderful!” Miss T smiled. “Just leave your email addresses
and I’ll set that up for you!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
***<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last week, we enrolled our children at the school. We also contacted
Miss T about her offer of finding Amy a couple of pen pals. It took Miss T
literally two days. And what a difference her one small, kind gesture has made.
Over the past weekend, Amy has been exchanging emails with a couple of girls
from her new school. And how her attitude to this move has changed: today, as I
walked her home from a play date, she said matter-of-factly, “I think I’ll be
fine making new friends when we move, Mum.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Moving to a new school is hard. Moving to a new school in a
new country is even harder. Trying to figure out how you fit in to your new and
alien environment seems like an impossible task. It’s a process. It takes time. It's something that you have to go through; you can't really force it. But once you
start to make friends, it no longer seems so daunting. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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I have no idea what possessed this kind, empathetic teacher to race after us in the playground that day, but her thoughtfulness has given me hope that this move will be filled with wonderful moments and fantastic people. Miss T's act of kindness, while seemingly small, has made all the
difference to one anxious, 10 year old girl. Now that Amy feels like she has a connection to the life that awaits her in Melbourne, her fear is slowly giving way to
excitement. All because of one small gesture of kindness. Thank you, Miss T!<o:p></o:p></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-55436774039866004082014-10-23T21:58:00.001-07:002014-10-23T21:58:39.402-07:00Boys will be boys<div class="MsoNormal">
Our 3 year old son is a total boy, and he’s becoming more of
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effects) that made us sigh, and say affectionately, “Ah, he’s such a boy!” <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Then he turned to conversation stoppers about guns and
fighting that made us cringe (especially when we were in company), and say
worriedly, “Crap, he’s such a boy!”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
And then tonight, he decided to combine both in one
sentence, while rolling around on his bed after his bath, stark bollock naked. As
I was trying to stuff his legs into his pajama bottoms, he looked at me thoughtfully
then sagely remarked, “I wish I could poop bullets out of my butt!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Enough said :-)</div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-59029455829160597932014-10-21T22:39:00.000-07:002014-10-21T22:39:46.049-07:00A bittersweet October<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“Oh no, we didn't make our mini pumpkins this year,” I sigh, as we
climb into the car. It's Thanksgiving and we are going over to our friends for
turkey dinner. This will be our last Thanksgiving dinner in Canada before we
move to the other side of the world… <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It's
only our last Thanksgiving in Canada,</i> I have to keep telling myself. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Not our last Thanksgiving dinner ever. Just
because we are moving to a different country doesn’t mean that we have to drop
our traditions.</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“Doesn't matter,” snaps Amy grumpily from the back of the car. “We'll
never make them again anyway.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">In case you are wondering, the mini pumpkins in question are the place
settings we’ve made every year for the past three years at Thanksgiving. The
girls and I spend a happy afternoon making mini pumpkins that look like our dinner
guests. We use felts, wool, Googly eyes, jewels, basically whatever we can dig
out of the craft cupboard. At dinner every one has to figure out where they sit based on the pumpkin they think most closely resembles them. It was becoming a Thanksgiving tradition. But this
year, what with the move to Australia looming over us and an entire house to
sort through and pack up, I just forgot all about it. Until now… <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“Of course we’ll still make them,” I say gently.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“What for? They don't even celebrate Thanksgiving in Australia,”
retorts Amy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Carly and Lola look confused. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“What?” sputters Carly. “No thanksgiving? What are you talking about?”
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“They don't celebrate Thanksgiving,” I say. “But that doesn’t mean
that we can’t.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“It won't be the same,” complains Amy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“No, it won't,” I say. “But it's one of our customs, so we’ll still
celebrate it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“People will think were weird. Different,” shudders Amy, as if that is
the worse thing in the world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“They won't,” I reply. “Besides, people like to learn about other
cultures.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">I can sense the eye rolling from the back seat of the car. And part of
me is inclined to agree. Just because I like being exposed to new customs and
celebrations, just because I enjoy an any-excuse-for-a-party approach to life
doesn't mean that everyone does. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">And besides it really won't be the same Down Under. Everything is the
opposite down there. Christmas is in Summer. Easter is in Autumn. And Thanksgiving
will be in the Spring. How can you give thanks for the harvest when the crops
have only just been sown? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">And how can we celebrate all my favourite Fall festivals in Spring? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">I hadn't realized until now that October is one of my favourite months
of the year. Thanksgiving and Halloween. Bumpy hayrides and traipsing through
muddy fields at the local Pumpkin Patch. Trips to the Dollar Store to stock up
on spooky Halloween decorations. Evenings carving pumpkins and decorating the
garden with gravestones and skeletons and cobwebs. The excitement of planning a
Halloween party and throwing together costumes. And the annual chocolate gorge
after a night trick or treating round the neighbourhood.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">I didn't grow up celebrating Thanksgiving or Halloween. But now I
can't imagine an October without them. All I can think is: How can we visit the
Pumpkin Patch for our Halloween pumpkins in Spring? Do they even have Pumpkin Patches
in Australia? And if they do surely the pumpkins will be harvested in April not
October? How can we make our mini pumpkin table decorations without mini
pumpkins? How can we carve pumpkins for Halloween if there are no pumpkins?
How can we go trick or treating round the neighbourhood if no one knows they
are supposed to be handing out candy on October 31st?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">But back to the conversation in the car:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“They don't celebrate Halloween either,” Amy informs her siblings.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Silence descends upon the car as we all contemplate a thought as gloomy
as Halloween without trick or treating. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Avenir Medium;">I am determined to be positive. And you have to give me points for trying…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Avenir Medium;">“Well, we can still have a Halloween party every year,” I suggest. “Even
if we don't go trick or treating we can still dress up and have fun. We can be
the crazy Canadian family who throws the best Halloween parties that everyone wants to be invited to.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">No one bites. No one says a word. The gloomy silence prevails. The
kids aren't convinced. And to be honest, neither am I. I really can't imagine
trying to reenact all our North American Fall customs in the Spring in a
country that doesn't celebrate them. And more importantly, I really don't want
to. I love Thanksgiving and Halloween just the way they are, thank you very
much. Part of me is reluctant to leave them behind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">“Well, we’ll just have to make the most of this October,” I say,
hoping to lighten the mood. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">I hear a couple of unconvinced grunts from the back of the car, and
decide to let this one go for now. I very wisely drown my sorrows with a bottle of wine over my turkey dinner at our friend's home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">***</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Ever since then, and despite resolving to enjoy this October as much as I can, I cannot
shake the fact that we are moving on, and leaving some of my favourite holidays
behind. Every moment we spend with friends is tainted by the bitter-sweetness
of knowing this will be our last time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Avenir Medium"; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">We have a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with our friends. And try not
to dwell on the fact that this will be the last time we all sit down together at Thanksgiving.
We have a wonderful day out at the Pumpkin Patch with my BFF here and her
lovely daughter. But there are tears. From Amy. From Carly. And I can feel them
welling up inside of me. I can't imagine a Fall without a trip to the Pumpkin Patch.
I can’t imagine not hanging out with our friends again. We are hosting our
annual Halloween party this weekend. But my heart is heavy as I hang witches
and vampires and skeletons around the garden. I can’t believe that this time
next year, we might not even celebrate Halloween. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Avenir Medium;">I know that I’m just preparing myself for saying Goodbye to North
America. I know it's healthy to reflect on our life here and what we will miss. I just hadn’t realized until now just how entrenched in North American
culture I’ve become. Although I guess the fact that I now call Autumn 'Fall' should have been a clue! Anyway, I hope I bring a little of my adopted North American culture with me to
Australia. It’s part of who I am. </span><span style="font-family: 'Avenir Medium';"> </span><span style="font-family: Avenir Medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1770108361738695713.post-36546121443923558572014-10-14T22:12:00.002-07:002014-10-14T22:12:54.331-07:00The love lock<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">A decade after
my mum passed away the family she left behind got together. My dad, my two big
brothers and I pilgrimaged to the Yorkshire Dales, and climbed up Ingleborough,
a mountain we had climbed many times with my mum when we were still kids. It
was a lovely way to honour her memory. And let her know (because, for sure, she
was looking down on us) that she was still very much in our hearts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Two decades
after my mum passed away we commemorated her life by hiking around the
waterfall walk in Ingleton, in the Yorkshire Dales. This time our families had
grown. My dad was with my stepmom. My eldest brother had his wife and four
kids by his side. My second brother brought his wife and two young boys. And I
was joined by my husband and brand new three month old baby Amy. This time I
knew my mum was watching us. And I knew she was proud of how our families had
grown, moved to different parts of the world but still managed to stay in touch.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The 14<sup>th</sup>
of September marked the thirty year anniversary since my mum passed away. A lot
has happened in the past decade since our family jaunt around the waterfall
walk. My dad has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease and dementia and is in
a care home. My eldest brother is now a Grandad. My second brother now lives in
New Zealand. And I have become a Canadian citizen blessed with four beautiful
children. This time we couldn't be together to honour my mum’s memory. This
time I found myself in Melbourne, far away from my dad and my siblings, on the
thirtieth anniversary of her death. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Despite being
so far away from home, or maybe because of it, I felt the urge to do something
special to honour my mum. The problem was, I had no idea what. I was in a
strange city in a country that had absolutely no connection to my mum at all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">But then, as
we were wandering around Melbourne city centre the day before the anniversary
of her death, we came across the Yarra Footbridge. The girls ran on ahead, and noticed
them first: the love locks that is. I’d heard about this phenomenon before,
attaching a padlock engraved with a message of true love to a bridge. It was
one of those phenomena that simultaneously delighted me (how romantic) and
repelled me (surely this is no more than glorified graffiti). And yet as I
gazed at the thousands of locks attached to the Yarra Footbridge, it came to
me: this is how I would honour my mum’s memory. I would dedicate a lock to her
from my dad, my two brothers and myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The following
day, the 14<sup>th</sup> September, thirty years after my mum passed away, I
walked out onto the Yarra Footbridge, and placed our padlock, our love lock
dedicated to my mum. Yes, I did panic slightly as I pulled the padlock out of
my pocket, at the thought that I could get arrested (and deported from the
country before we’ve even moved there) for vandalism. But as I left, without incident,
I felt at peace. I felt as if I had done something good. And I knew my mum was
looking down on me and smiling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">I carry my mum
in my heart every day. She's just there. My heart is the best place for her to
be. Every time I have moved to a new city or a new country, she has been right
there with me: in my heart. But September 14<sup>th</sup> 2014 was a special
anniversary and I felt the need to do something different. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">And here it is,
somewhere amongst all those locks, somewhere amongst all those other
declarations of love, there is a lock dedicated to my mum. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Almost bedtimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08421211559857316509noreply@blogger.com2